Your strength is your sound selection. You have a good ear for this and what sounds you have in there sound good together but you gotta work on your mix. The snare specifically is too loud.
I, personally, didn't like the long kick you used through most of the song but that's my opinion. I liked the one at 2:19 a lot better. You also gotta switch the kick up some, maybe at the end of some of the bars.
Instead of doing two kick buildups at the start, I would probably take the first one out and just use the second one. Maybe add some kicks to extend it a little if you wanted. There is also nothing that really compliments the buildup of the kicks. Consider adding some kind of transition, a buildup effect, rev crash, etc.