Being a DJ and having a girlfriend (or a wife)

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BrunoFacca

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I'm sure many of you have or had the same problem I'm having right now, so I decided to share it with you...

I'm in a relationship for 7 months now, I really like this girl but things are not working because of me being a DJ. She's not a jealous girl, so she doesn't have a problem with the parties or the woman in the parties. She does have a problem (a big one) with me not being able to see her for 4 or 5 days straight.
I'm the resident DJ for a nightclub and sometimes, 5 or 7 days before the party they were like: "we're having a huge electronic party on thursday, you're spinning". I was also spinning on these days before the party, so I didn't have much time to prepare myself (buy vynils, download some music, organize a new set, invite people, etc). Sometimes no matter how I tried to organize my time I just had to work for 4 or 5 days straight, and not have any time for her (or myself) cause I was doing the stuff for the big party during the day and spinning at night.
She's always sad and kind of and pissed off after those times, like "you left me alone for the whole week" or "you're always doing that and you're not present in my life".
That happened many times and no matter how I try to explain, she just thinks I have to "solve this problem" and "make time for her" or something like that. I tried to compensate by taking her to a nice restaurant, spending a lot of time with here after the party or buying her something nice don't seem to work, she seems to think that that's not enough..

I know some of you have girlfriends or wifes who got into DJing, but mine isn't going to be, so that's not a solution...

Well, that's my story... What about you? Any good advice from people that have "been there before"?

Thanks
Bruno
 
my girlfriend bought me my tables.
I love her more than words can describe :)

now i just have to get her to back up all my vinyl buying habbits ;)

good girls are hard to find.Hope you can work things out--if not maybe you should evaluate the situation and movin on.

:)
 
i, too, am blessed with a caring wonderfully understanding spousal unit...ideal situation...


however, in not our situation, i would submit to you that if she can't handle your 'primary job' then chances are probably very low for continued happiness, sorry dood, but that has been my experience, that is unless you can magically control your work schedule.....

cheers and best of luck

:cheers:
 
my wife is very chill..

right now i'm just a bedroom dj but i had played some gigs before and she's been really cool and supportive even when she could not make it to the events..

she doesn't quite agree with me spending all my cash on vinyl but what can you do..

when you're really busy and can't make time to see her do you call her at least and tell her what's going on?

if not not you might want to try, if you're dead tired and call her before you go pass out in bed she'll see that you are putting some effort in on your end of the relationship...

good luck!
 
I think your career is more important. Love don't pay bills. I'm sure she would disappear if you fell off.
 
.... this is weird. My girl bought me my equipment too. She also thinks I need psychological therapy cuz I spend all my dough on vinyl. .... that!

Anyways, this thread is quickly turning into a Dr. Phil episode.

Nicknack said:
my girlfriend bought me my tables.
I love her more than words can describe :)

now i just have to get her to back up all my vinyl buying habbits ;)

good girls are hard to find.Hope you can work things out--if not maybe you should evaluate the situation and movin on.

:)
Click to expand...
 
Okay...well...I'm not in a relationship at the moment. But I can tell you that I've been in a few and taken a lot out of what experiences I had. Not to mention countless hours of therapy.

Basically I really believe that if it's getting to the point that you don't have any idea what to do, you need to take yourself and your girlfriend/wife and go see a therapist or at least some sort of counselor. You would be amazed how much things get sorted out when you have to voice your concerns with a counselor present. You start to realize that some things that you do are selfish and some things that you do that piss her off are sometimes just her insecurity and the same for you. It's an eye-opening experience. I highly recommend it.

It won't be a walk in the park, but the end results are remarkable. :) Hope this helps.
 
I have a Girlfriend and she very supportive MOST of the times, once in a while she does get into one of those moodes where she has to be top priority...... However I tell her she knew what she was getting into when she first met me, and that the reason I spend so much time and effort into DJ is becuz perhaps one day we wont have to strugle so much and hopefully Dj'in can open some new doors for us in the future..
Your Boi
Ricky.B
P.S.
Where is Doc Phil when you need him....
 
i met my girlfriend through the local music scene, so we enjoy a lot of the same music and social circle. however, the fact that i work on, think about, and talk non stop about music and DJ'ing definately bothers her some time. She and I have talked about it at great length, and as a result, I've set aside whole days in advance where she and I get out of the house and do non-music related stuff. For instance, we go mountain bike riding, canoeing, swimming, etc. Something that takes me away from the stresses and business of DJ'ing.

it seems, however, that your problem is that you are being worked so hard by your job that your girlfriend feels like she's not getting enough attention. and if you really are missing from her life for 4 to 5 days at a time, i can sympathize with her.

I also hope that you're making A LOT of money, considering your employers are working you to the bone. Even if you enjoy it, I hope that you have a clear perspective on how much your time is worth. It's okay to say NO to a gig, especially if it doesn't pay well and/or you could use the downtime to rest & recuperate. Also, your employers should learn to be more understanding of your life.

At the crux of the problem you're having is your personal list of priorities; your girlfriend is obviously below your career as a DJ. It's up to you whether that changes or not, but if it doesn't, you'll probably lose the girlfriend.

...Not an uncommon problem among performing & touring musicians! It's also the reason many successful DJ's and rockers stay swinging single and sleep with their groupies and DJ hoes. ...Which has its own ups and downs... ;) Whatever floats yer boat, just pointing out some of the other options out there. :D

Anyways, at the current rate, it sounds like you won't have a girlfriend much longer. I think you can compromise and hold onto your career and your girl, but you have to want that bad enough to make some sacrifices in your work schedule.
 
can someone please help my friend with his relationship/life...? he's seriously going to loose all his amazing talent if someone doesn't tell him a solution. he's about to have a kid on the way and the mom wants him to give up his career for her and the kid, but his career can pay for their lives. i believe the reason she wants him to give up djing is because she knows he can't be sober and because of all the girls half naked dancing all around him during his sets and the chicks that promote him on their tits. he wants to make the commitment to her, but she doesn't trust him and is extremely jealous. what can i do to help him realize he needs to end his addiction and stop living each day as a party??
 
the great tiesto once said, "in order to be the best at anything, you have to give up everything else..."

..but if you think it's meant to be, keep working at it. chicks love communication at every possible level, so i've found that it helps a lot when you simply tell them whats on your mind every chance you can.
 
never give up the passion for music man! just tone it down a bit with the partying, life's all about balance.
 
Well, as a chic I would say I would never stand for that. It's not like she is your wife and there are kids to support- then you sit out the lonely nights.... but here- why should she stay? The question is not what you should do about it- but why does she choose to stay??!! :shame:
 
Keep working my dude. If she has any love for you she will adjust and celebrate with you when you have time and bigger assets. :) WORK is all we humans have to survive
 
Good luck mate, hope you find a reasonable solution! Love is important!
 
hey! I think you should show her how much fun you are having in you job (if you are), take her to some of the nights that you play at, go vinyl shopping with her, explain to her how this world makes you feel. Looks like you'll be having to make some important choices soon... i wish you all the best with them. I hope you can try to incorporate a healthy relationship and your job, maybe by making her realize how much your job is worth to you.
 
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