Being a DJ and having a girlfriend (or a wife)

[SrdjanM]

I'm married for 8 ears now and we have 2 kids.
I got into whole dj-ing story just some 1 year ago, after losing the passion for my other side-project, the photography, and also because I was sick of all the bad music at the parties we went to once in a month (well, being a 33 years old family man, party time is rare and expectations are high).

So I teamed up with a friend, and we started our own monthly gig, doing everything on our own. But even with only 10 events per year, it was tricky to make it work.

The easiest way is a strict separation between the part-time job and the free time for the family/girlfriend.

It's 4h during the weeks 1-3 and extra 6h during the 3 weekends. The week before the gig (week 4) it's 8h per week, plus the evening and the clean-up afterwards (so basically on site for at least 12h).
Then sleep for another 12h.

So it's a total of 50h of work per month on top of my 35h week.

Does it work?
Usually yes, if the money is right, and there is no other problems during the event weekend.
We still have discussions now and then, but if I stick to the agreed times, she is ready to live with the drawbacks.

But now, I would like to do some production, and because there is no way I can take away more time away from my family, we are cutting the events down to 4 own gigs, and 2-3 extra "guest appearances", which still brings some money (to cover the cost of the home studio) and some fun.

But if your girlfriend does not respect what you are doing, well, does she really respects you, the way you are? There is always a choice, but not always an easy one.

 

[theanomoly]

haha... you have to decide which is more important - relationships are about COMPROMISE ... both of you are going to have to figure it out, if your not willing to compromise (being gone for 4-5 days is pretty steep) then your djing is more important and you need to move on to a girl that's ok with that. IF your girl is more important you need to speak with your club/promoter and let them know that you can do certain days and other days you can't.

I've been djing for over 14 years been with the same girl for over 7 of those - I love djing.. I love my girl more.

 

[dynamism]

I've seen girls try to make guys choose between the music and them. Protip: it won't end well.

 

[KN1]

It is hard sometimes when i want to practice at night and she wants to spend time , but real talk dude if she can't see the effort you're putting forth or appreciate it then that's a big deal itself.

 

[juse]

It's all about balance bro, you got to spend some time with her for real while doing your thing maybe a few times a week

 

[AMRnycmusic]

Long story short... I have had one girlfriend that never came to any of my gigs, and one that was by my side getting me drinks during nearly all of them. In retrospect, its obvious which one was the better gf lol. Gotta find yourself a girl who appreciates your talent and the fact that you are actively utilizing it. Any girl who doesn't ain't worth a musicians time! It really does come down to that.