"...when you say record around -14dbFS are talking about the master bus' average levels or are you talking bout recording the individual tracks & them peaking at -14dbFS"
When tracking digitally, I'd only worry about peaks. Not getting too close to 0 is the goal. When printing a mix, I'd switch to RMS, or VU, mode and make sure that the average level is around -20 dBFS (Classical) to -14 dBFS (Pop). These are mix levels - not final master levels, of course. Here, too, make sure there are no "overs."
"btw. i had a very quick go at recording at lower levels with my monitors louder (v.quick just to test). I did this with drums, bass and synth brass and had it peaking at around -.2.8db (dunno if its dbfs, it was cubaseSX3's meter)..."
"Do yuou mean -2.8 dBFS? (You wrote -.2.8)
Bottom line is that your songs should sound quieter than comparable genre already "mastered" songs do until you touch the volume knob. If you reduce the attenuation (i.e., make playback louder from the volume knob only) appropriately, you will stop rotation when your mix sounds as loud - on average - as a store bought CD does when the gain knob is at the earlier, lower (higher attanuation) position.
_andrew