This piece seems to have a clear concept, direction, and place to go, but feels slightly hollow. There does not seem to be a clear E4-based melody line guiding us through the song, instead a dispirate collection of melodies clunk-clunking into each other with some thumpy bassline which does not render well on some speakers. I suggest adding some form of consistent "musical staple" (you could change a note each iteration)around octave 4 to help keep the tracks together and well-linked.

I'd focus less on length (reaching as long as 6 minutes), but instead on volume and intensity to keep listeners engaged.