Maybe not that you're trying too hard but you flow doesn't work with the beat as good as it could. I think that timing is the main issue, sometimes it seems that you're rushing/slowing down to catch the beat (right when you start the verse you miss the snare by a good amount for example). I like your voice and I think you modulate it well, so I feel that tighter flow would make your rap better.
By the way, sometimes when you did a lot of takes last ones are gonna be sloppy - it's better to have a couple of short sessions than a long one (of course I'm assuming you had a long one, so ignore if it doesn't apply). Hope you know what I mean. Practicing with metronome alone and recording short 4-8 bars takes when you really think of what syllable you want to say for each division can show you what you're doing good or bad.
Just few thoughts, maybe some of them will help. Thanks for feedback!