beat's pretty hype. the lyrics are cool but your delivery needs work. I don't feel the emotion in your voice though. sounds like you're reading it off a sheet or something. I'd say practice the flow a lot before getting on the mic. as a listener I don't feel convinced. once you got this down, work on your intonation. try emphasizing certain words, and vary the volune of your words. as practice for this try recording yourself rapping a song you know really well. then listen to it, and see if it sounds like the original artist. see what they are oding that works and sells, that you can implement in your own style. The chorus sounds out of key with your voice, you could try making it more like a singing hook, more melodic. Overall, lyrics are fine, its definitely an underground vibe, and the beat has potential for damage. Good luck