Do you guys layer a bunch of samples together and then...
Sounds like you do know how to layer, but you don't know WHY and WHEN.
Sorta like you're layering sounds because you read somewhere that Layering was the answer to dope drums.
Well, you can be technical in your approach like a sound designer or you can just freestyle it and use your 'ear'.
4 Part answer
1. WHY? You layer when something is MISSING from a drum sound. Adding another sound can sometimes supply the missing tone, frequency or ADSR adjustment.
2. When? You layer when all the other tools fail. EQ may fail because you can't enhance or subtract from frequencies that just aren't then to be adjusted. Some drums are light in certain ranges or too bottom heavy to have an even tone. Tonal kicks (like some 808-types) can have an even, steady tone and lack punch at the start. And so maybe the attack is where you want to add some action and so you add another kick underneath that has a lot of energy (loudness [a spike in volume]) at it's beginning.
Compression may fail because the drum sound is ALREADY SQUASHED to ...You be using volume to lessen it's overall impact, but now it's lost presence in your mix. You grab another sound with more Dynamics (variation in volume) to add life to a boxy drum element.
3) Technically, you could be using a wave editor and looking at the drum waveform up close and noting the attack. Drums tend to lose something when the timing is thrown off from the editing (truncation) and the shape of the attack. In other words, one drum may begin quickly from the sample start and the next drum layer may have a slight space before the sample drops in. That will lead to a slight blurring and a mish-mosh kind of sound. Sloppiness that sometimes works with snares tends to not sound too good with kicks.
Editing the Transients is also a practice that some employ.
Transient control and excitment to get a killer drum sound - Gearslutz.com
You can also use the various wave-shaping tools of your DAW or Wave Editor to make drum sounds longer, shorter and control pitch. Sometimes it's not about how many drums or drum libraries you collect, it's about how well you can manipulate your drum sound on a track by track basis.
4) By Ear, you can just listen carefully and match ONLY drums that enhance when added.
There's a general sound to layered drums that do sound "beatish", but even then there's a way to do it right. When you begin to lose clarity, punch and overall your drum sound is NOT improving- go backwards and remove the drums that aint working. No shame is taking one step back to move two more forward.
You really should be reading Producer's Edge Magazine.
There's a huge 4 or 5 parts series on drums. From timing to creating them from scratch to layering...processing it's pretty comprehensive. It's called Drum Works.