Not trying to undermine ebbownee, but concerning drums, here are my tips.
1. Use something like EZdrummers VST in any DAW that can handle VST plugins, the sounds in these VSTs are suprisingly realisitic. You don't particularly have to play them in the VST, you could just hit each one a few times and chop them up and re-play them in reason.
2. Use a second mixer to route each of your drum sounds to its own channel, this way, you can add FX to each indivisual drum, then route them back into the second mixer, then route the second mixer into the main mixer.
3. Be sure to use the regrove tools if you like to use the sequencer, if you use a midi, don't quantize hi hates and crashes ect.
This should help with the "realistic" sound.
Like i said, not trying to undermine anyone, but I am a bit of a realistic sound buff myself and these are a few tips i've picked up.