Experimental Song I Wrote

[Bernard Willis]

I attached a song I wrote in post. Give me some feedback and tell me what you think about it. My soundcloud is BernardWillis but I can't link it because I'm a new poster.

 

[Pumpthrust]

Listening to that.....made me wish I hadn't listened to that.

 

[Olie]

I could see the style going somewhere pretty cool but you need to do some tightening up.

Vocals remind me of

 

[Bernard Willis]

that's rough, can you elaborate on what was so off putting?