Constructive criticism

I

illwill03

New member
18 past seems like ydayWe was baked in classWell done to be exact But the past is the pastNowadays it seems love never lastESP with my last Wanting you to hold meBut I ain't gone get into thatAnd at times I get lonely Can't expect u to love me for me cause Idon't even know me YetBut I plan to learn Wise words and wisdom is what I yearnWhy curve religion its so absurd Terrorist nd terrorism is every word On the tip of the tongue of every nerd. Democrat, republican, liberal What's the budget then to be civil an spread the love againBut the school teachers Deciding what to teach usHistory books provided the knowledge that we creatures Hiding in the violence, the silence is what keeps us Smiling not whiling but all we manage is Mona Lisa.
 
Bro i have to one for you spacebar, itll be easier to read your flow if you give some space between them lines
 
You're conveying too many topics at one time in a short time span without any clarity. It's like writing two sentences at the same time.. You need to take time before you move on & make a point to the next one.
 
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