***How To Get A Placement***

This rarely happens though. In the case somebody is interested in you, 90% chance they don't want to pay you an advance or even give you songwriter credits to get royalties. They will just sell you into giving away free beats with some "it'll launch your career" pitch. It's just the industry taking advantage of no name producers.
 
You make an album/CD and publish it through all channels. You will sell 10 and a few digital downloads. You begin to wonder if it's something you did wrong. You realize that your album isn't even available at the major torrent trackers. You upload it yourself. No one else leaches it except the guy who mistakenly thought it was a collection of a-cappella renderings and medieval arrangement of old Los Lobos hits.

You make a YouTube video with something funny but somehow it doesn't go viral. You try to do the whole ensemble piece with one citar and post it as a reply to the Walk of the Earth video. No one gives a crap but you get 100,000 hits and a few comments about penis enlargement. One of the comments will trigger your next album: "this is genius. Unfortunately all people wanna listen is crap -- Bud". You decide that the next album will feature stunning arrangements and some innovations like the sampled spanked nuns recorded at Abbey Road. You hire an Internet publicist who will spam the hell out of a Facebook like someone once did calling you the next Brian Wilson. People that never heard of you who hired the same publicist will receive daily emails of your activities including one which is an iPhone photo labeled "recording a track with my vintage Samick".

Someone answers you that Toka'si Les Paul sound better than Gibson's despite never having played a Gibson. Nor do you play guitar. You think you recognize the tone of that reply out of something read in Gearslutz. Your landlord says you need to pay the rent and stop those cat skinnings you do when everybody else is out to work. You move your CD to CDBaby's $5 specials. You still don't sell any more copies. You'll send a message to your Facebook fans that for a a whole week they can download your album for free in mp3 format. You remind them every single day during that week. In the end, 6 of them downloaded it. You develop writer's block as a way to avoid facing your own failure. You go on a trip. You decide to purchase the latest digital gizmo that not only can reproduce every amp out there as it can autotune notes when you bend the strings a tad too much - now, that's quality.

You decide that the problem is canned drums so you buy yourself a kit and a lot of mics. It sounds worse than EzDrummer. You sell your car and hire Chad Cromwell to lay some tracks for you. He did them in one pass and recorded the drums for the whole album in two hours. You're broke. You come to Gearslutz and try to find someone to mix your album for you for free knowing that the drums are amazing. A lot of folks answer you. Every mix is worse than just letting the raw tracks play with faders at 0dB.

You start to think there's something wrong with the industry. It's that bloody Internet thing where everybody steals everything. You know that you could have made it if only John Hammond was still around to give you an audition. You ask Pitchfork why haven't they reviewed your album and they answer something about the dangers of UPSing stuff. Your wife doesn't take it anymore. You are left alone with a scotch bottle and a gun for a friend.

You take that job flipping burgers. You meet a terrific bass player who stopped playing for the same reason you did. He isn't that great flipping burgers but has that Jaco induced touch without ever smashing the bass. You start to play with him in cafe houses. Audiences don't really care but aren't rude anyway. You become a better player. And a better entertainer. People laugh when you tell a scripted joke. You found appreciation. You're invited to play in a band some Saturday nights just for fun. Boy, that Chuck Berry knew how to groove. You enjoy playing. You think about recording again. And you do it. You will sell 10 and a few digital downloads. You begin to wonder if it's something you did wrong.

(this was originally posted at gearslutz maybe a decade ago)

 
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Very detailed post! Thank you for sharing the scenario. Could someone please point me towards more information about Ascap? I'd greatly appreciate it!
 
yo man. u opened my eyes. i've didnt imagine that situation. however its not so easily achievement i'm got motivated by now. thanks a lot!
 
That is awesome! Imagine going to the casino and going to the blackjack table and getting blackjack on every hand. Then you move on to the craps table and see that someone is on a roll so you place bets all around and they hit all of them.
 
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