I think you might be better off either taking a sample and chopping it up or finding someone who can play and whacking a mic in front of their face.
I was worried someone would say that, it's kind of a last resort for a studio work.
Sorry bro... If I knew more (reliable) players it'd be my first choice for most of my instruments...
I hate certain VST instruments... Any stringed instrument (cello, guitar, violins etc) sounds better strumed or plucked than keyed. Same for brass/woodwind - mouth work can't be keyed.
Record live takes and treat as you would a sample from a record. Chop & Slap.