The ideas good. I'm always for trying something new.
Heres a few things i think would improve the beat.
- Harder drums. Either strengthen the current ones (i dont think theyre far off from the sounds you need, but..) they're missing a hard
thump! in both the kick and snare. Not enough impact, Doesn't make the beat move as much as it could. I'd also recommend adding a slight bit of reverb, more so on the snare to bring it to life.
- The Intro/Drop. I think you can make alot more of that intro. Heres an example of the sort of thing i mean
https://soundcloud.com/takugotbeats/ta-ku-cosmos-midnight-the Note how that builds up to the drop, the claps that come in and then the Sound FX that come in just before the drop. You seem to have tried something similar but i think it doesn't last long enough.
Hope this makes sense.
Return it:
https://www.futureproducers.com/for...ry-michael-jackson-happy-birthday-f4f-453744/