Funny article I found about NOT making beatz

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Source: » Bedroom Producer Keen To Let Everyone On Facebook Know That He’s Working On Some Tracks


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Bedroom Producer Keen To Let Everyone On Facebook Know That He’s Working On Some Tracks


A young bedroom producer has reportedly taken to Facebook for the sixth weekend in a row to post a status letting everyone know that he would be staying in all weekend to work on some tracks.


Barry Jacobs, a self professed “sound engineer, beat maker and tonal impressario”, makes further claims that he doesn’t want to go out partying because “making tunes is so important to [him]” – a claim he also made unsolicited via a Facebook status update which received seven likes, most of which came from fellow self promoting “producers”.
He was also keen to point out how much he loves “these weekends off from partying where [he] can work on some serious beats” and how much he “can’t wait to drop these sick bangers on ****ers” because apparently “people are going to freak at this shit”.


“Nothing beats just chilling out, unwinding and getting stuck into making tunes bro,” he was heard tell a casual friend unprompted at a party. “I’ve been making tunes for years,” he continued, holding back from saying “I’m cool aren’t I? Love me please, I make music.”
Friends of the “producer” were quick to dismiss his claims that he’d be “strapped to ProTools all day Saturday”, claiming that in the five years that he has been DJing and producing they’ve never heard a completed track.


“Yeah I’ve heard snippets and 30 second clips of beats,” remarked one, David, “but never a fully formed and finished track.”
“I actually called over to him on one of his producing weekends,” he continued. “I found him playing World of Warcraft eating cheese Doritos and smoking spliffs.”
“He said he was just ‘taking a break’ but I could tell that he was lying by the embarrassed look in his eye and the fact that there was about four hours worth of wanked-in tissue in the bin,” David added. “The ones on top weren’t even crusty yet.”


“He always posts the same statuses on Facebook that say he’s busy working on his album despite the fact that he definitely isn’t, no-one has ever heard his music and his bedroom, rather than being a recording studio, is more accurately described as a wank dungeon,” concluded David. “It’s almost as if he just wants the props and acclaim of being a serious musician without actually being one.”
 
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Rule number one, if you must beat your fight-pad do it AWAY from your equipment.(Projectiles are always a problem)
Rule number two, copy and paste your patterns or add some more stuff to it to lengthen the tracks.
Rule number three, if you gonna spend more than 300 bucks on expensive equipment to make music on, use it 24/7 or at the very least 5/2
 
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