I overdosed and barely made it alive

...and people say FP is dead. As long as we can help the members on the forum, whether it's about music production or otherwise, it's not dead
Hang in there X, hopefully things get better. I (and I'm sure a lot of others) would miss you if you went ahead and ended it. The best of luck in finding help man
 
i just wanna say to everybody, i thank you very much for your comments, it feels good...im glad theres some of you tho that actually go thru the same thing, you understand even more so, but thanks guys, i really preciate it!:cheers:
 
galacticboy said:
Check out an NA meeting, you're bound to run into quite a few people who are going through exactly the same thing you're going through.

http://www.na.org/
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ive been forced to go to na meetings for marijuana charges, lol...no offense, but they just push religion on u in those meetings, and i will never go back, just for that...i need pyscho therapy asap, but i got myself some bomb, so i should be good for atleast a couple days, who knows when ima have another "episode" but im really appreciative for those who care....

thanks voss, this is what fp is about, internet fam, imo, being there for ppl who need it, along with music
 
it is important for bi-polar people to not THINK.

so physical activity, even listening to music while taking a walk, is good for you. working out. once you FORCE yourself to do some sports, your condition will get better.

cannabis can both, ease AND trigger psychotic periods, so you should not overdo it. also, good sleep is important, so try to fall asleep TIRED (read: take a long walk before going to sleep/work out, etc...).
it also makes the serotonin levels stay "in the middle": you won't get depressed, but you will also not feel "highs".

so it's a "relationship": cannabis evens out the difference between manic and depressive periods, BUT you are getting more and more vulnerable to "peaks", when you stop smoking it.

definitely stop drinking: cannabis AND alcohol together are a (literally) deathly mix for bi-polar people.

btw, the pineal gland produces melatonin, which is probably responsible for "normal" sleep patterns - it is therefore important, that you get ENOUGH SUNLIGHT for it to be produced.
staying inside and in dark rooms.........will end up making you feel more depressed.
change your diet to a more carbs and vegetable based food (can be soups too). your sugar levels will be more stable and you will have more energy to actually DO SOMETHING, instead of staying in your room/house and THINKING about why you are in a condition you are in.

hope this helps.
 
JeanLukPigheart said:
it is important for bi-polar people to not THINK.

so physical activity, even listening to music while taking a walk, is good for you. working out. once you FORCE yourself to do some sports, your condition will get better.

cannabis can both, ease AND trigger psychotic periods, so you should not overdo it. also, good sleep is important, so try to fall asleep TIRED (read: take a long walk before going to sleep/work out, etc...).
it also makes the serotonin levels stay "in the middle": you won't get depressed, but you will also not feel "highs".

so it's a "relationship": cannabis evens out the difference between manic and depressive periods, BUT you are getting more and more vulnerable to "peaks", when you stop smoking it.

definitely stop drinking: cannabis AND alcohol together are a (literally) deathly mix for bi-polar people.

btw, the pineal gland produces melatonin, which is probably responsible for "normal" sleep patterns - it is therefore important, that you get ENOUGH SUNLIGHT for it to be produced.
staying inside and in dark rooms.........will end up making you feel more depressed.
change your diet to a more carbs and vegetable based food (can be soups too). your sugar levels will be more stable and you will have more energy to actually DO SOMETHING, instead of staying in your room/house and THINKING about why you are in a condition you are in.

hope this helps.
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ohh yeah, i hate to think, fa real, its hard to not stop thinking but i think, and think, analyze, over analyze things to death...i walk around, listening to music CONSTANTLY, music def helps, all the time, ive said in the past, if it wasnt for my love of music, i dont think i could survive.
u got a really good point about the marijuana and the peaks, that sounds def legit.
regarding the sunlight, i take vitamin d because of lack of exposure to sunlight, beleive it or not, i have osteoporosis as well on top of bi polar, but im a little too wild sometimes when im in my lows, ill be quick to get into fights and not even worry about my thin bones possibly breaking while fighting, its never happened yet, but as i get older im sure its more likely that ill get more broken bones, already got one fractured vertebrae, thats why i had the vicodin...
 
yo x just try to vent your problems through music and get it out as much as possible. maybe the more attemtion you get from it will eventually help your illness just cease to exist.

i know you don't have alot of money,but try going on vacations or trips to somewhere that can clear your mind and change your life.
 
mylesp510 said:
yo x just try to vent your problems through music and get it out as much as possible. maybe the more attemtion you get from it will eventually help your illness just cease to exist.

i know you don't have alot of money,but try going on vacations or trips to somewhere that can clear your mind and change your life.
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i know it might sound ignorant, but like when i get in those "episodes" 99% of the time im angry, i dont go out looking for fights, but if somebody muggin me, ima do somethin bout it...it just comes out that way, i go through A LOT of different emotions when im like that...so i been tryin to stay positive, but its so hard on a daily basis, yall know obviously, i wake up, immediately feeling like ****, and thats the night that i tried to kill myself....its difficult bro, but i preciate what u sayin
 
xtrordinare said:
i know it might sound ignorant, but like when i get in those "episodes" 99% of the time im angry, i dont go out looking for fights, but if somebody muggin me, ima do somethin bout it...it just comes out that way, i go through A LOT of different emotions when im like that...so i been tryin to stay positive, but its so hard on a daily basis, yall know obviously, i wake up, immediately feeling like ****, and thats the night that i tried to kill myself....its difficult bro, but i preciate what u sayin
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i have kind of the same problem,but not as bad. i get angry at the dumbest stuff. when some one starts talkin shyt to me i try to ignore it,but if they try to turn it into something big in front alot of people then i just get the feeling of wanting to kill that motherf*ucker. when people start fights with me its the worst thing for me. i have walked away from most fights looking like a pu**y in front of everyone because of that. i almost stabbed somenody with a big ass knife once,but somebody dropped me to the floor and took the knife from me.
 
Hey X, keep strong man. My mom's bipolar as well, we been through some heavy ****. The key is the right medication, but it's hella hard to determine the right combination.

Anyway, IMO happiness is something you see in movies, I don't think anyone's happy on this planet. We just have to make the best out of it, and try not to think about all the bull****. I won't even **** with news, ****'s getting me down.

Anyway, please don't do anything stupid, you should even quit reefer. It's sad to say, but medication (yes DRUGS, chemicals) are a need for some.
 
trumindz said:
Hey X, keep strong man. My mom's bipolar as well, we been through some heavy ****. The key is the right medication, but it's hella hard to determine the right combination.

Anyway, IMO happiness is something you see in movies, I don't think anyone's happy on this planet. We just have to make the best out of it, and try not to think about all the bull****. I won't even **** with news, ****'s getting me down.

Anyway, please don't do anything stupid, you should even quit reefer. It's sad to say, but medication (yes DRUGS, chemicals) are a need for some.
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yeah man, ive been thru soooo many damn meds, and ive had a lot of bad side effects from various drugs, with little to no help so far, i always told myself that i would quit smokin weed when i feel like i dont need to smoke anymore, i dont want to be forced into not smoking
 
First you need right medication to fix your biological problems (brain aka HARDWARE), then you need therapy/education to fix your psychological problems (aka SOFTWARE), then you need to fix the stress in your life with proper decision making. This whole process has to happen in that order and can take years. The last step is all up on you, that's the step where you really start helping yourself and getting your life under control.

You might be ill now, but you can get to a level where people won't even notice your illness and you'll be able to live just like a normal person - just like with becoming a producer it takes dedication, consistency and hard work, most people are not willing to pay this price.
 
Live a Dream said:
First you need right medication to fix your biological problems (brain aka HARDWARE), then you need therapy/education to fix your psychological problems (aka SOFTWARE), then you need to fix the stress in your life with proper decision making. This whole process has to happen in that order and can take years. The last step is all up on you, that's the step where you really start helping yourself and getting your life under control.

You might be ill now, but you can get to a level where people won't even notice your illness and you'll be able to live just like a normal person - just like with becoming a producer it takes dedication, consistency and hard work, most people are not willing to pay this price.
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QFT...those are exactly the steps that my sister took. Her old friends know about her situation, but new friends she makes have no idea she has any issues. Like I said before, the only weird thing is that she needs at least 12 hrs of sleep, but besides that, you don't even notice that anything is wrong with her.
 
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Live a Dream said:
First you need right medication to fix your biological problems (brain aka HARDWARE), then you need therapy/education to fix your psychological problems (aka SOFTWARE), then you need to fix the stress in your life with proper decision making. This whole process has to happen in that order and can take years. The last step is all up on you, that's the step where you really start helping yourself and getting your life under control.

You might be ill now, but you can get to a level where people won't even notice your illness and you'll be able to live just like a normal person - just like with becoming a producer it takes dedication, consistency and hard work, most people are not willing to pay this price.
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i understand, ive gone thru countless meds and practically none of them worked, one did but it gave me really bad twitching.
i wish i had gotten help earlier in my life, i cant even imagine how different my life would be right now...it def depresses me even thinking bout it right now...
 
JeanLukPigheart said:
it is important for bi-polar people to not THINK.

so physical activity, even listening to music while taking a walk, is good for you. working out. once you FORCE yourself to do some sports, your condition will get better.
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That is true

I'm not diagnosed with anything but I can agree and say that if I start
thinking to much I start to get real down and out (when life is pretty
much good nothing bad at all) for no real reason.

oohotcarameloo said:
you need to find god.
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Theirs plenty of addicted to drugs/ill people ive seen who love god
God isn't going to fix mental health issues ... he needs "real" help ...
Hopefully you find it X !
 
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wow, i thought i wuz da only dat felt dis way x, but i actually got diagnosed with bipolar 1. spent some time in a jail n a crazy facilities for mostly dope fiends. also been locked up 4 marijuana charges. jus got diagnosed a couple months ago but felt this way since around 12. i used 2 pop percoet, vykadin, n other **** cuz i was on parole n couldn't smoke. i liked smoking black n milds, newports, salvia, n other ****. i liked e pills n xanax da most, but my parole officer n physcialogist put me on some lithium. dat **** mixed wit some other thangs work pretty good.


but like duke said you gotta always be doing something cuz if you don't you gonna think about some bullshyt. if you aint high of da weed or some other **** since you dont got no medication. i used to walk around with a couple blunts on me, a bunch of e pills, percoet, and my ipod just in case.

just out of curiousity do you feel this way when your alone only, or do you also feel it when other people around? check this **** out



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_spectrum_disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_II_disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclothymia

i think ma boi da 1 in my sig bi-polar but he wont talk 2 no adult cuz mentally he wont allow himself to. he tries but, n even mentioned it but cant just hold a normal conversation wit his moms.
 
Jerzy Piff said:
wow, i thought i wuz da only dat felt dis way x, but i actually got diagnosed with bipolar 1. spent some time in a jail n a crazy facilities for mostly dope fiends. also been locked up 4 marijuana charges. jus got diagnosed a couple months ago but felt this way since around 12. i used 2 pop percoet, vykadin, n other **** cuz i was on parole n couldn't smoke. i liked smoking black n milds, newports, salvia, n other ****. i liked e pills n xanax da most, but my parole officer n physcialogist put me on some lithium. dat **** mixed wit some other thangs work pretty good.


but like duke said you gotta always be doing something cuz if you don't you gonna think about some bullshyt. if you aint high of da weed or some other **** since you dont got no medication. i used to walk around with a couple blunts on me, a bunch of e pills, percoet, and my ipod just in case.

just out of curiousity do you feel this way when your alone only, or do you also feel it when other people around? check this **** out



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_spectrum_disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_II_disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclothymia

i think ma boi da 1 in my sig bi-polar but he wont talk 2 no adult cuz mentally he wont allow himself to. he tries but, n even mentioned it but cant just hold a normal conversation wit his moms.
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dogg, before being diagnosed, i never knew or ****ed with rx pills like that, but i blew weed all the time, now thanks to my illness, im a lil addicted to some of the pills, i take vicodin, maybe some percocets if my pain is worse cause of my osteoporosis, so those are strong narcotics, than i got these benzos, ranging from ativan, xanax and valium, rxd at different times, never together, so im an addict because of my disability, how that for irony?

i got out of EPS hella early, knowing that i have past history with overdosing and leaving a suicide note(they took that the most seriously), ive been diagnosed 3 different times, once with dysthmia, once with major depressive disorder, and now with bi polar...dogg, **** seems to get worse, one of my biggest fears is that ill end up being commited into a pysch ward, because i downplay my pyschosis, because if that was in the system, id be ****ign myself over staying in pysch wards no matter what i tell them....the mental health in this state is really ****ed up...i could say more, but i dont wanna go on and on
 
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