It was good but some things to improve on would be...
The voiceover guy. Idk if it is you but it just sounds to nice I guess. Hell I'll do it for you. lol
The other thing is that all through the video I'm getting this impression of it's a descent sized fascility, probably with a vocal booth, the normal studio. Then at the end it look like a bedroom on the second floor of you house.
And show more people actually rapping in the booth, people in the studio noddin their heads, people havin fun, makin beats. Something like that. Makes people feel like shit gets done there, or it's seriouse.
But it was good just could be better.