I need a Feedback on this

I think you should mix this a bit tighter the sounds are dynamically all over, if you could bring them in together it’d sound more cohesive.
The sound is unique though
 
The idea is interesting. First thing that I tend to hear is how sounds are not equal at their velocity. It is throwing me off. Maybe bus compressor will help? Second one is - my ear can't grasp what I need to listen to. What is the main theme? I mean, what is a red line across the track? It sounds more like an intro, I guess. I know, I know, its a lo-fi. It doesn't have to have a story per se, but I feel like this track wants to have a story line. So close, but so far away. Idk, maybe it was actually your idea to make this feeling.
 
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