Rate my lyrics. (I am a beginner and need an opinion)

TSKR

TSKR
Tie up my vans
Jump on the stands
Smash in your face with my own two hands
Pull out your hair strand by strand
You may think I’m crazy but this is planned
Ain’t it grand
Lookin at my hands
Broke my knuckles
Lookin at the blood run down an I start to chuckle
See you struggle
pull out my knife
Watch a couple run by
Shoot the man in the eye
Kiss the woman goodbye
As she starts to cry
I dont know why
I really can’t lie
So in reply I Make her mine
She’s my wife
Then one night we start to fight
So while she sleeps I take her life
And watch her lights go out
no need to shout.


 

Suber

Member
These arent lyrics. This is poem. Lyrics cannot be judged without contects of the song and instrumental. You can write a best poem in a world but it may be a rancid song.
 

TSKR

TSKR
These arent lyrics. This is poem. Lyrics cannot be judged without contects of the song and instrumental. You can write a best poem in a world but it may be a rancid song.
Ok so Is this better

faith is never belittled, loves not little
I will preach about god till my heart goes brittle,

Yea I’m a fighter, I’m a soldier
Every day I get bolder, I grow older, start to bolster
If I feel Disturbed all I got to do is pull the gun out it’s holster
Or just ghost her, picture perfect like a poster
Listen to the pitch go up and down like a roller coaster
lucky like a four leaf clover, high stakes roller
Always sober.

Listen to my raps don’t it sound like I’m bipolar
Yet I keep a good composure, not a poser
Always kosher, yet a joker
To be honest sometimes it seems like my potential ain’t even out of its baby stroller
Spit bars like a motor, I’m a loner, never mediocre
There’s a beast inside and I just had to poke her, I awoke her, then I broke her

From exposure to this world yea
All the hate and all the madness, it just causes so much sadness
Makes my hairs prick up like needles on a cactus
Why are people’s hearts filled with so much blackness
There’s no was to cap this so ima just go on and blast this
Aiming for the masses been working my way up the chain like molasses
I spit bars the fastest

No one out here’s gonna pass this, let alone blast this
Never surpass this
Ye I’m in the fast lane every one else they are in last place
Look at the rap rates am I in last place... nah
Best in all of the states that’s me
Find someone better than me and we’ll see
Yet I guarantee an you better agree that there is no one better than thee
Living like the bourgeoisie
Yelling my raps like a banshee
I foresee an guarantee that one day I’ll be the best just wait and you’ll see
 
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