Advice please on lyrics!

Ishi

New member
Not the greatest lyricist here but I know different people prefer different methods, so try some of the few I know V

Method #1
Write a bunch of words related to your topic, then write words that rhyme with them, then write lines for them and see where the story goes.

Method #2
Write the story for the song sections first.
so for example your song has Verse1, Hook, Verse2, Hook, Bridge, Hook structure
you would first write your story very shortly like this
Verse1: Came back from the army
Hook: I'm home
Verse2: Maybe It was a waste
Hook: I'm home
Bridge: But it doesn't matter
Hook: I'm home
(sorry for the terrible story) And then you try to develop each of these parts with lyrics that follow the story.

Method #3
Start by writing words that sound cool, then turn them into phrases that sound cool, then build a story around those phrases.

There are obviously more ways to do it but I find these 3 fun and easier than the others.
Also use this website for rhymes
Rhymezone.com

Good luck!
 

Given_legend

New member
what you think of this, changed the topic to sadness


Title: Beautiful Souls





Intro:



Have you ever lost anything that meant so much to you?

That oved so much that it tears you down and make you cry?

Those Beautiful Souls that I love so much.





Verse 1:



I miss my girls, those two Beautiful Souls of mine

Every day and every night I think of them

I wake up and I find myself looking at picture of their smiles

At night I miss tucking you in and kissing you goodnight

I knew when my Beautiful Souls were gone so was, she.



(x2)Chorus:



You told me to call, but you never answered

You tell me that I can visit them, but you won’t let me

You say that you care, but you’ve never shown it to me

All I can say is that I tried, and you never answered once

I’ve shown my love for my Beautiful Souls so many times

I’ve shown my love for my beautiful girls so many times



Verse 2



I know they don’t understand but that’s ok

One day I’ll tell them what they need to know

They don’t deserve what they are going through and neither do I

I just know that I did what i could just to keep them happy

All that matters to me in life are my Beautiful Souls



(x2)Chorus 2:



You told me to call, but you never answered

You tell me that I can visit them, but you won’t let me

You say that you care, but you’ve never shown it to me

All I can say is that I tried, and you never answered once

I’ve shown my love for my Beautiful Souls so many times

I’ve shown my love for my beautiful girls so many times
 

Ishi

New member
what you think of this, changed the topic to sadness


Title: Beautiful Souls





Intro:



Have you ever lost anything that meant so much to you?

That oved so much that it tears you down and make you cry?

Those Beautiful Souls that I love so much.





Verse 1:



I miss my girls, those two Beautiful Souls of mine

Every day and every night I think of them

I wake up and I find myself looking at picture of their smiles

At night I miss tucking you in and kissing you goodnight

I knew when my Beautiful Souls were gone so was, she.



(x2)Chorus:



You told me to call, but you never answered

You tell me that I can visit them, but you won’t let me

You say that you care, but you’ve never shown it to me

All I can say is that I tried, and you never answered once

I’ve shown my love for my Beautiful Souls so many times

I’ve shown my love for my beautiful girls so many times



Verse 2



I know they don’t understand but that’s ok

One day I’ll tell them what they need to know

They don’t deserve what they are going through and neither do I

I just know that I did what i could just to keep them happy

All that matters to me in life are my Beautiful Souls



(x2)Chorus 2:



You told me to call, but you never answered

You tell me that I can visit them, but you won’t let me

You say that you care, but you’ve never shown it to me

All I can say is that I tried, and you never answered once

I’ve shown my love for my Beautiful Souls so many times

I’ve shown my love for my beautiful girls so many times
Heyy you finished a song! That's always something to be proud of because I know how hard it is to FINISH songs. so good for you.
The story is beautiful as well and I can tell that you've written about something personal and it's coming from your heart.
I feel like it would be better if you included more rhymes and less double use of words.
so I highly advice you go to Rhymezone.com and use that website to come up with rhymes and your expression will be far better and your songs will be that much more singable.

for example here I used the website to come up with some rhymes and also I applied a AABBCC rhyme scheme on your chorus so it sounds better when sung.

CHORUS
You told me to call, but you never have time.

You lied when you said I can visit them

You say that you care, I guess not for me

All I can say is I was the best I could be

I’ve always shown my love for my Beautiful Souls

I’ve always shown my love for my beautiful girls


Time x Them (Half Rhyme)
Me x Be
Souls x Girls (Half Rhyme)

It's also a better idea to make your lines not so long when writing for singing or rapping
so that people can actually understand your rhymes, or in other words, catch your flow.
because when our lines are too long, people tend to forget what the last word of the previous sentence was, so they never get that feeling of rhyming words. (yes people actually forget that quickly)

but these are actually the easier stuff left for you to do, you've already done the hard part, just do a bit of editing and your song will be ready! :D

Good luck!
 

Given_legend

New member
Wow! I didn't expect that. I agree, I have been reading poetry as well so that's helping me. I really liked how you rewrote the chorus, to be honest. It is what I wanted as well. Just at the time didn't go through my head. I also agree on not doubling the choruses after I've posted and written it as well. May I use it to find more ways to fix the chorus?
 
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Ishi

New member
Wow! I didn't expect that. I agree, I have been reading poetry as well so that's helping me. I really liked how you rewrote the chorus, to be honest. It is what I wanted as well. Just at the time didn't go through my head. I also agree on not doubling the choruses after I've posted and written it as well. May I use it to find more ways to fix the chorus?
Hey I'm glad you like it :D Sure you can use it in any way you wish to. It's your lyrics, I just edited it a bit.

for the "double" thing though I'm not sure if I said that clearly. What I meant was that you shouldn't use the same words again as much especially at the end of sentences
that's why I changed this

"I’ve shown my love for my Beautiful Souls so many times
I’ve shown my love for my beautiful girls so many times"

to this

"I’ve always shown my love for my Beautiful Souls
I’ve always shown my love for my beautiful girls"

because using the word "Times" at the end of both sentences doesn't sound as good as using two different words that rhyme together.
so even though "Souls" and "Girls" only half-rhyme, they still sound better than "Times" and "Times".

sorry for the confusion :D
I'm excited to see or even hear the completed song, send it to me when finished if you want!
 

Given_legend

New member
Yes, I agree with you. Sorry, I thought I replied to you the other day, loll, but yeah, I'll brush up the lyrics soon, to be honest. Thanks for your help, you helped me out a lot! I'm a rocker, more like the metalcore genre, so I really need help on those types of lyrics.
 
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Given_legend

New member
Hello everyone, I finally finished the lyrics to "Beautiful Souls". Check it out and tell me what you think and your opinions. I feel like this version is the cherry on top and it's ready to add Chord Progressions and Beats!


Intro:



Have you ever lost anything that meant so much to you?

That you loved so much that it tears you down and make you cry?

Those Beautiful Souls that I love so much.



Verse 1:



I miss my girls, those two Beautiful souls of mine.

Every day and every night I think of them.

I wake up finding myself looking at pictures of their beautiful smiles.

At night I miss tucking you in and kissing you goodnight

I knew when my Beautiful Souls were gone, so was she.



Chorus 1:



You told me to call, but you never have time.

You lied when you said I could visit them.

You say that you care, but I guess not for me.

All I can say is “I was the best I could be”.

I’ve always shown my love for my Beautiful Souls.

I’ve shown my love for my beautiful girls so many times.



Verse 2:



I know they don’t understand, but that’s ok.

One day I’ll tell them what they need to know.

They don’t deserve what they are going through nor do I.

I just know that I did what I could just to keep them happy.

All that matters to me in life are my beautiful girls.


Chorus 2:



You told me to call, but you never have time.

You lied when you said I can visit them.

You say that you care, but I guess not for me.

All I can say is “I was the best I could be”.

I’ve always shown my love for my Beautiful Souls.

I’ve shown my love for my beautiful girls so many times.
 
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