Simile's, Metaphors, Punchlines... Rhyme.

These cats sneakin' through like peepin' tom's perverted fun
I'm a higher caliber like bigger bullets in bigger guns


Eh, I tried, I'm tired.
 
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yeah those aren't bad...i guess this isn't the smoothest punchline cypher though..

you say your ryhmes making progress?
the only chips your seeing is from sawdust

ah something simple...like damn...:D
 
Disease driven rhymes like the flu I'm so sick
and My lyrics progress death like them cancer sticks
 
so gutty basically from my post in the other thread,

punches are one or two liners where someone will brag on themselves/put down another.
and
multies are two or more lines that rhyme.

if i got that correct, i do the both unknowingly, or without knowing what theyre called at least...

anyway i hope i aint posted these before can be arsed to check!

I slap in you your face, like Larry Graham playing bass,
This aint bad boy b***hes, but when I spit it’s like mace,
More more more, i hear the angry mob roar,
Im the gladiator, b***h, Im here to settle a score,
cats are content being the L. C. D. (lowest common denominator),
im ocsillating on a higher frequency,
ill sweet talk your honey im so salacious,
with a speech or chirps that still so gracious,
spit so clean on that dirty future funk,
baby baby baby, pass me the skunk,
i toke too hard, dont how much more i can take,
honey at this rate il forget you by tuesday!
 
punches dont have to be a put down or giving props to yourself.

if hip hop isnt dead then where is proof?

^thats a punchline. no diss, no props. People were saying hiphop was dead then proof died, and im asking where is proof, as in the rapper and where is proof that it isnt dead.

in a battle the idea is to diss the opponent therefore all punchlines will be disses.

heres suttin a just wrote, needs some rearranging and changing here and there but there is some punches.

when i write i write with a poison pen to destroy your friends
whilst micheal jacksons callin on boys to men
thinking there a delivery service check the history of my verses
whoever's dissin me's nervous punches aint even hittin the surface
im spittin with the purpose to burn the mic
and change the curriculum of everything you've learnt in life
my predicaments weither to be concerned with hype
cos my ****s ridicolous to diss you have to earn the right
and if you diss today ill put out a search tonight
wont stop with words and rhymes till the earth is mine
its my turn to shine, cos im a human made
to illuminate like a sonic boom or the moon in space
and you can hear that on every tune i make
my tunes are great so the door to the industrys soon to break
but i wont just walk through it, ill kick it ****ing down
find whos on the throne and nick his ****ing crown
spit till i ****ing drown in an ocean of saliva
cos when im ghost i dont wanna be known as an emotionless rhymer
 
Bud Bunner said:
punches dont have to be a put down or giving props to yourself.

if hip hop isnt dead then where is proof?

^thats a punchline. no diss, no props. People were saying hiphop was dead then proof died, and im asking where is proof, as in the rapper and where is proof that it isnt dead.

in a battle the idea is to diss the opponent therefore all punchlines will be disses.

heres suttin a just wrote, needs some rearranging and changing here and there but there is some punches.

when i write i write with a poison pen to destroy your friends
whilst micheal jacksons callin on boys to men
thinking there a delivery service check the history of my verses
whoever's dissin me's nervous punches aint even hittin the surface
im spittin with the purpose to burn the mic
and change the curriculum of everything you've learnt in life
my predicaments weither to be concerned with hype
cos my ****s ridicolous to diss you have to earn the right
and if you diss today ill put out a search tonight
wont stop with words and rhymes till the earth is mine
its my turn to shine, cos im a human made
to illuminate like a sonic boom or the moon in space
and you can hear that on every tune i make
my tunes are great so the door to the industrys soon to break
but i wont just walk through it, ill kick it ****ing down
find whos on the throne and nick his ****ing crown
spit till i ****ing drown in an ocean of saliva
cos when im ghost i dont wanna be known as an emotionless rhymer
Click to expand...

yeah i see now

basically its not story telling, punches are metphors, similies and other literary devices used to emcee with!

ur flows alright, where in london you from?
 
that aint even a good example of my flow, i switched the rhyme scheme a little and some bars are stretched.

I used to live in south london now i live in hampshire.

Punchlines are exactly that, a line with a punch to it.

read my guide to technical aspects on here, i think the username is jim reaper, im not using that one now.

and look up bud bunner and jim reaper on here, find yaself some better examples of my ish.

pz
 
oh i didnt even know you was jim reaper bud, no wonder i like yo lyrics :) Yea anyway nattwalls, i didnt say a punchline had to be a putdown. I actually was giving you an example of how you can compare something as crazy as a toilet brush to yourself in a clever way.
 
im kickin a cypher like old dudes kick tunes from da 70's/
flow is perfect, you can check my style out and da melodies/
 
^nah aint feelin it, wordplay in the punch is way too basic and the second line is weak

keep writing
 
its my turn like a personal door knob

ill waist(waste) time like throwin clocks in the garbage

if jack fell down and broke his crayon(crown) then i colored jills pink with fire mans hat red (dont know where that came from)

my words coat lines like hanging jackets out to dry
 
i wrote this not to long ago

I Got Dat Mentality shut down Ya Personality
You Wont Be The Same When I Change Ya Frame
Have Ya Body Colapse, so you need to change
As You Can Tell, You Wont Be The Same
call it whateva, i call it insane
catch a shell, break through ya skull and enter ya brain
get under your skin, tear up your cell membrane
destroy your nerves n abolish your way of living
make you give up on life, so nigga hand it to me
before i take it off ya hands physicaly
tryin 2 battle me lyricaly on my terrain i take it seriously
show no mercy for over-night thugz
wen you was soft last night
and now you claimin that you packin slugz
you prolly talk to copz, dont bring a witness
livin a double life, i get it cuz its just business
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]rite?........[/FONT][/FONT]
 
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Damn Butt Bunner you really got ur pussy all hurt on that one. first of all i was just fukin around, i thought gutty woulda picked up on the fact i was kidding, i mean we did squash beef right? Tell me this though since u guys are both so tight, why would u get on me for talkin a little bit of sh1t by talkin sh1t back sayin how much u hate when people hop on and say some sh1t yet ur doin the same thing right back to me?....hmmmm......hypocrite.... but anyways yall never heard me say my lyrics was the sh1t, so ya got me lost on that one.. oh and by the way since yall are so adoment about callin me out with the gangsta sh1t, why dont yall find the couple of keystyle's i wrote about how im not a gangster. i make it a point to talk about how im not affiliated with any gang, im not a pimp, and i wouldnt know the first thing about LIVIN in the gutter/slums, so if yall are tryin to upset me by sayin i aint gangsta, then try again cause i know im not
 
punk b1tch hypocrites i show yall no love/
come on out to cali ill burn Bunner like bud/
you couldnt see me if i was glued to ur fukin retina/
i commented one time and already got the best-of-ya/
say ya hate sh1t talkin and got sh1t drippin out ya mouth/
take a lesson from UNK motha fuka and walk it out/
hypocritical schizofrentic, got multiple accounts/
stop playin wit a bay cat for ya @ss get pounced/

Now before yall get all worked up over it, i know u think my spits are so much weaker than yours so u can spare the bs, "oh ur sh1ts hella weak" "oh im so much better", ive heard that sh1t already, save it. yall wanted me to drop somthin so i did, so dont get all butthurt
 
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honest opinon

it was below average but im not about to start saying ill tear you up - rhymes do the talking.

it seemed like you wanted to talk shyt so i thought id chip in. thats not hypocritical thats fighting fire with fire

anyway back on topic, heres some punch examples

Im the nicest in history, with words im a genius
Got the tightest delivery since the birth of jesus
ill serve a penis like pimps do, im cold like pingu
shyt, a ginsu'll have you walking out a limp too
fuk what you think's true a&r's wont link you, cos
your as gangsta as a thin dude in a gimp suit and pink boots
i bring nukes, shyt, i flow like niagra when i drop
and you wouldnt look hard with viagra eyedrops
when rapping im hot, in the uk im the jewel of the south
thats why you backed outta the battle after calling me out
bytch, try schooling me now, im way too brutal
i pencil images that'll pull out a pupils pupil
i dont use tools, in brawls, apart from a pen
bars blast you and then reload and start it again
men know im hungry, so anythings fuking edible
if your justin rockwell...im justin credible

hook:
so why the fuk is rando acting like hes rambo?
id have you shot like dando i dunno if your a man tho (x2)
 
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SEE WUT IM SAYIN. first thing out ya mouth is how weak my sh1t is. fool u need to get over urself. they got a word for people like you now - HATER

and u gotta be the blindest person in the world to sit there and say u aint a hypocrite, check it

Hypocrite-"a person who professes beliefs and opinions that he or she does not hold in order to conceal his or her real feelings or motives"

u said u hate the sh1t talkin and wut r u still doin to me?? i rest my case
 
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Haters dont give other people props. The point of dropping a rhyme on here is for feedback. Weither you like it or not, im being real thats my honest opinon.

If i was a hater i wouldnt of dropped the guide to help muthafukas elevate. If you look in this thread alone your see ive given props when due

the overall standard of writing on here is pretty weak, thats one of the reasons i put the guide up - im not boasting, bragging or giving myself props but i will accept them from other people.

Im not going to tell you that yours ****s good if from my personal preference and knowledge of writing i dont think it is. which i think is fair enough.

now drop some bars and feedback
 
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