Opinions on my lyrics? (First try I ever finished)

Foresee Tale

New member
Hey guys,
thats the first time I actually finished writing a song lyrics. What are your opinion on it?
Thank youu


I never loved you much girl, no dont you think that.
I never played with you girl, no dont you say that.
I never meant to hurt you, dont believe that.

But I did for a while, for a short little wonderful while.

I think I did love you
I think I did kinda love you girl
just not for long and not a lot
Sorry couldnt make it last

I never thought we'd stay together for a long time.
And never meant to make you feel the way you feel now.
But I warned you, didnt I?
I was right, wasnt I?

I couldnt get around it, I had to tell you the truth.

That I only did for a while, for a short little wonderful while.
 
its very choppy sounding when i try to find rhythm for it. but other than that i like how you go back to the lyrics a short little while at the end. circles in music are always good
 
Gotta hear the music that goes with these. To be completely honest, these lyrics are going over a very common topic in pop music (which is fine), but they are also stated in the same way that many other first-time lyricists would have written them. That said, these lyrics could end up being totally fine depending on how they're sang. (Great artists lyrics sometimes sound really emotional or profound when you hear the song, yet oftentimes if you take the same lyrics and read them on paper without the music, they can seem like poop). Show us the music!
 
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