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Thread: Opinion of lyrics?

  1. #21
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    Yeah most times the lyrics of successful artists can seem cringy when read on paper, yet good when sung. These guy's feedback all seems decent, but then again depending on how you sing the original lyrics they can end up being good or bad. Show us the song and don't be afraid to rerecord new lyrics after you get feedback.

  2. #22
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    Ultimately songs that are too detailed in their self-pity are no good because they become particular to that person and the general public may not be able to grapple with it or not see themselves as the protagonist in your song. For example, in the Chainsmoker's "Closer" he says "I drink too much and that's an issue". Many people do drink too much and immediately relate to it messing up their relationship. Listen to big songs and what they talk about, then emulate it and weave your own little style. Also exact rhyming comes across too much as poetry and not song lyrics. You can rhyme "that" with "back" etc

  3. #23
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    I think itís clever but need to read more of the story. I think youíre very capable but need more material to see where youíre headed with it.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nickbpearson View Post
    Like a couple of people have said above it's a little harder to give feedback on just straight lyrics without the context of genre. One thing you could work on is your rhyme structure. Every line rhymes with the one after or before it creating a basic AABB structure. If you continue that throughout the whole song then it's gonna get repetitive and Dr. Seuss like. Not every line has to rhyme. Mixing it up keeps the listener more engaged, but it can be hard because it feels like you're interrupting the flow. Using these non-rhyming lines to paint a really vivid picture is a good way to make them interesting and feel like they fit in better. Or you can have rhymes in the middle of the line instead of the end. There's a lot of different ways you can play with words. Experiment, it's the only way to get better.

    Quick Note: I don't see the whole "It sounds pretentious argument." with the poet line. After a heartbreak I know I get really dark and start to feel like I'm a character in a Shakespearean Tragedy or something. Maybe it's a hip hop thing because there are so many rap songs about the rapper bragging about their god like status and since that's what I listen to then my standard for being pretentious is skewed. But that line was actually my favorite. It was the most relatable for me
    .

    Adding more complex rhymes also helps. When I'm doing a freestyle I will use really simple, short words (see, be, free) to bide my time between punchlines. I might start out with a clever rhyme and then work my way to another one with these simpler rhymes. When you are sitting down and writing stuff out, it's easier to really dive into the imagery, symbolism, and advanced rhyme techniques. You have time on your side here, use it. I think you are on the right track with lines five and six rhyming honestly with through me, but there's a lot more to be done and the sky's the limit
    Lucky Patcher 9Apps VidMate .

    Lastly I'm gonna give my two cents on the whole vagueness thing that everyone else has talked about. If you are writing a pop song then definitely being vague is your friend. You are appealing to the masses and you do that by relating to everyone. But most other genres are more specific. You could always go for a shock factor and do something where you kill both of them (not all that original but you get the idea) but I don't think that is needed. Speak to your own human experience because if you are able to relate to it then I'm sure others will too.

    I don't know how long you have been writing lyrics and it sounds like these are very much a first draft. So I have a tiny sample size of what you can do. But if you want advice this is what I would say. Become a student of lyricism. I was watching a Kendrick Lamar interview where he said "I am a student of the game first." This statement can apply to every single genre of music. The new generation of music usually has a very in depth knowledge of the previous one and uses this to combine influences and create their own sound. The best music advice I have ever gotten is from my Jazz Band Director. He always told us that we need to be listening to jazz in our free time so that we were filling up our cups. It's very much the same mentality as Kendrick has. The more you know about how Paul Simon, Andre 3000, Paul Mccartney, John Lennon, Kanye West etc. wrote their music then the more ideas you have to implement into yours. Sit down, pull up the lyrics to one of your favorite songs, and analyze it. See what you like and what you don't. How does the music fit with the words? Are there things they are doing that you aren't? Are there things that you are both doing? Sometimes just write a song with the whole intent of copying a certain technique. Even if it isn't a good song it's a good way to stretch yourself. The next time you use that technique it might become a masterpiece. So just keep writing, everyone writes bad lines, but the more you write the sooner you come up with good ones.
    i agreed with you bro
    we love lyrics
    Last edited by klimbo; 01-23-2019 at 11:22 PM.

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