One Paper Joints (first rap post)

[sleblanc17]

Hey everyone..

This is the first time I've ever posted any original lyrics up on a web forum.. I don't necessarily consider myself a rapper, I just like to rap and write and I'm trying to practice and get better. Have never recorded before, so I would like to get to a confidence where I'm able to comfortably throw down my raps over record - I guess this is a good place to start haha and ask for any advice or feedback. I'll just jump in..

Shit, my friends keep tellin me
I gotta cool it with the J's that are 6 papes
But f-ck it, cuz I need that shit
Just to f-ckin wake and bake
I used to sit up late night with Miss Mary Jane
Sittin, rappin, puff passin' the Buddah
And the lighter to myself again
I ain't in it to shame your name
But I've been smokin so damn much lately
Ya, I'm a f-ckin advocate
But I'm too broke to stay trashed
So maybe we should step back, just a little bit
And re-evaluate the situation
Cuz there's so much damn THC in my system
I can't focus for more than a damn minute
I gotta refocus
I guess after this last J is finished
And somehow try to remind myself
That I gotta stay in it, to win it
Maybe I got lost cuz we got caught up
But I'm never losin it, won't drop shit
I'm with you, in it for the long haul
But everytime I start pullin' I'm gonna start takin just one
Instead of six.
And when you burn slow,
I'll learn to appreciate every haul, b-tch.

---------------

Thought I'd add one more to this post, maybe won't necessarily make sense as I'm just trying to practice and get down whatever comes to my mind first, but looking for any more feedback:

I took a ride out to the middle of the desert
No smile when the sun shines
When the moon climbs, wondering if I'll be alright
Nothing in sight, just sitting on the bumpy road
Spittin shitty raps, but in the ****in zone
Emptiness surrounds me, wonder if I'll forever be trapped alone
Weeks and months seem to vanish and pass
Trees and blunts seem to be a thing of the past
Whether or not you got me here remains unclear
Moving so much slower, a mind**** of every broken path
Stories colliding like four 18 wheelers just crashed
This desert has no walls but from beneath all
It all seems to fall down
Tryin to dust off the sand but shitstorms constantly blind me
And send me packin right back to where I started
Sprawled out and broken on the damn ground.

 

[Chip Off Da Block]

Rap isn't for everyone

 

[sleblanc17]

Haha true.. Like I said, just trying to find ways to practice and get better.. this isn't the only, best (or worst) thing I've written.. just thought I'd put it up for some pointers on how to improve, thanks!

 

[Tis True]

I thought your second one was decent. Your structure is a little off so if you really wanna get better I'd try and learn more about rhyming schemes, structure, etc.

Here's the thing though. You don't need to be a dope rapper to express yourself, and from what I can tell, that's all your looking for, an outlet. For that, NO ONE has the right to hate. Writing, whether it's good or bad, is a great release.

 

[M.C.-Exclusivo]

I thought your second one was decent. Your structure is a little off so if you really wanna get better I'd try and learn more about rhyming schemes, structure, etc.

Here's the thing though. You don't need to be a dope rapper to express yourself, and from what I can tell, that's all your looking for, an outlet. For that, NO ONE has the right to hate. Writing, whether it's good or bad, is a great release.

Completely agree with this... I recommend though, if you want to improve... Study your favourite artists, if you have any?? Basically, before I got into rap, I was looking into it when I was 13... I've been listening to a lot of East Coast rap, I had my favourites I was already listening too... But without me realising... I improved by listening to the various artists... I then accidently got back into it, and actually wrote some decent stuff...

I first recommend though, as the above said, get your structure right... Don't be shy just to post simple rhymes like... 'I'm too fast, for your ass, my lifes ****ed up, haters shut up...' It's a start man! Just practise!

EDIT: When writing, write to a beat which you feel... This should help to keep your flow and structure consistent...