How are my lyrics?

THE_JOKAH237

New member
I picked my self up from where snakes left me down
And I’m seein you flashing in my mind cop sirens without the sound
And I’m hearin red like I gotta kill count
that I account, Cuz you always leave me red blue and and loud


And I never kill nobody, but that don’t keep me bound
If you keep standing, I’ll take a second round
Cuz I’m writing my bullets and loading them into my sound
And when I play a bass that shakes the place, I make the gun reverberate loud


I do this for me, never for the lick
I carve out my home, out your gold bricks
I do it to keep my mind three to the six
Cuz I’m Heath Ledger playin these pencil tricks


I goin through life, the second witch trial
I ain’t a witch I’m just a clown usin blood to make my smile
If you bring a knife to a fist fight
Then I’ll bring an automatic to your final rites


I’m not a rapper I’m a writer
You could never say I’m not a writer
I starta write every time I gotta be a rapper
But when I rap I become the storyteller


I say what doesn’t kill you only makes you stranger
That’s it’s okay if it is my life I wager
If get i stranger I become the embodiment of danger
I think at light speed like I’m runnin like Evan jager


I’m like the joker
I’m jokin my jokes till your gone and then I become Joseph kerr
Over time my mind starts to deter
But when you come back you can count blood spills and burns


My ideologies
I’m in this world metaphysically
Heterodoxies
Cuz my theology got me thinking my insanity isn’t an unorthodoxy


In my crazed mind I like to take pride
But for a moment let me set that aside
You see i also gotta partner in crime
Harley Quinn chillin at my side like Bonnie and Clyde
“But Mr J., First Bonnie died”
Just like you, Harley, just after you cried
When you realized that I betrayed you for homicide
There’s a red smile on her face, wedding dress stain,
I think I’ll keep it safe for the next bride
 
I would say focus less on the rhymes/Schemes and more on what you're actually trying to say... Less is more in some cases
Also while repetition can sound good if used properly try not to repeat rhymes so close together (Sound, Loud).
Keep writing :)
 
I picked my self up from where snakes left me down
And I’m seein you flashing in my mind cop sirens without the sound
And I’m hearin red like I gotta kill count
that I account, Cuz you always leave me red blue and and loud


And I never kill nobody, but that don’t keep me bound
If you keep standing, I’ll take a second round
Cuz I’m writing my bullets and loading them into my sound
And when I play a bass that shakes the place, I make the gun reverberate loud


I do this for me, never for the lick
I carve out my home, out your gold bricks
I do it to keep my mind three to the six
Cuz I’m Heath Ledger playin these pencil tricks


I goin through life, the second witch trial
I ain’t a witch I’m just a clown usin blood to make my smile
If you bring a knife to a fist fight
Then I’ll bring an automatic to your final rites


I’m not a rapper I’m a writer
You could never say I’m not a writer
I starta write every time I gotta be a rapper
But when I rap I become the storyteller


I say what doesn’t kill you only makes you stranger
That’s it’s okay if it is my life I wager
If get i stranger I become the embodiment of danger
I think at light speed like I’m runnin like Evan jager


I’m like the joker
I’m jokin my jokes till your gone and then I become Joseph kerr
Over time my mind starts to deter
But when you come back you can count blood spills and burns


My ideologies
I’m in this world metaphysically
Heterodoxies
Cuz my theology got me thinking my insanity isn’t an unorthodoxy


In my crazed mind I like to take pride
But for a moment let me set that aside
You see i also gotta partner in crime
Harley Quinn chillin at my side like Bonnie and Clyde
“But Mr J., First Bonnie died”
Just like you, Harley, just after you cried
When you realized that I betrayed you for homicide
There’s a red smile on her face, wedding dress stain,
I think I’ll keep it safe for the next bride
Live a little longer you'll find where you stand
 
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