Help Needed! Feedback On Lyrics

D

dylanbriscall

Guest
Thanks for being open enough to let me share some tunes with you. I need some feedback on a song called "Someone Worth Loving"

You can listen to the song here: https://soundcloud.c...ne-worth-loving

Verse 1:
Is this real, Do these moments count when we're gone, Do the lips we kiss form a bond with the blood in our veins, That runs through our hearts, Is it worth, All the sacrifice, To break free, From the lonely nights, In a complicated city made of tainted glass
Pre Chorus:
Now I won't lie, There were times when I thought love was pointless, Times when I thought I was hopeless, To the voices inside my mind
Chorus:
Watch me erupt in flames, Then learn to fly, Like a Phoenix does in time, I'll earn wings, Then rise from the ashes from whence I came, These wounds will heal, And mark my soul, Like the road signs on the journey home, And underneath, I hope you'll find, Someone worth loving, Someone worth loving for life
Verse 2:
Give it time, This momentum will shift in its place, Realign with the channels of fate that defend the emotions you always pushed aside, For too long I delayed what I figured out, Before water could land on the seed of doubt, That's been growing, And oh it's been growing, For far to long
Bridge:
For life I was walking where shadows lay lost some friends that were close to the
same mistakes as before so I'm not doing that anymore
Chorus
 
Hey.. Something is wrong with the link you've posted & I've also read everything you've posted in response to your feedback. My thing is this, Where's the enunciation and the rhyme syllables to match the flow pattern? Not to be disrespectful in any way, but it sounds like a poem instead of a song. I can understand the concept of the song well enough to know where it's at, but i don't know where it is going. You just need these adjustments as far as i can see (Not hear).
 
Is this a rap or a pop song? Lyrics sound more for singing, its good poetry but can't tell the genre you going for because the link you provided is broken.
 
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