First rap song i've made, rate my lyrics.

Robeezz

Robeezz

New member
I love wordplay, double entendres, tunnel vision etc you get what i'm saying.

Tryna be more focused on the way to the goal / finding inspiration when I feel it touching my soul, just bare with me see the youngest sun(son) gon' glow/ and they say its only about 5 percent of the ocean we know, aint that something crazy it really does amaze me/ a maze we havent seen, beneath the seven seas/ things the human eye hasn't seen the iris (there is) / and I sure is, i'm just tryna be honest, making music up from my nest, i'm just trynna be my best, cause tunes that's from within, ill win. With or without the bars, never within/ see stars around my circle, I use the Pen to cull (Pentacle) my words, verbs, with the way i wanna be heard (herd)/ pick out the best options, the kid got them (GOTHAM) you can't stop him like the bad man(BATMAN) he is, dressed in all black for the robbing(ROBIN), cuz robbs in, sounds throbbin/ head bobbin when the (it) sounds so tight and it feel so right/ know what he doin, he pursuin his dream, to get cream doin what he loves, see fine things/ and everything in between, know what i mean/ immune to the nonsense like a spleen
 
Lyrics are dope, but I can't stress enough that you put more energy into it. Even if it's a chill track. Get in touch with your vocal chords so you aren't mumbling so much. Practice enunciation. Try out different flows and such. I find that memorizing the lyrics helps. If you're reading your lyrics off a page while recording, it divides your attention. Also, a listener with a trained ear can tell you're reading that shit... Rehearse that shit 17 times (yes 17) and you will know it for life. That's some science that got dropped on me, and I'm now I'm passin' it off to you. Your lyrics are ill and they need to be heard, but in order for people to listen... you gotta put some soul into it. Rhythm and poetry. You got the latter down, work on the former. Good luck, dude.
 
Good Lyrics, but I think you need more expression and good flow to the singing... but I like!
 
Its lacking a whole lot of emotion. Everything you said sound bland and like you didn't even want to do it. I'd say focus on putting some feeling into it to help make the listener feel what you want them to feel. But keep at it
 
the lyrics were ok,but yeah it needs a little bit more energy.work on bringing that and improving the delivery.
 
Good lyrics.
I'll have to agree with coolassp talkin about lack of emotion, put some more feel to it and you'll do great. Keep it up!
 
yo why does everybody ask their lyrics to be rated by text?
Find a beat and show the world the real talent you have!
If you need hip hop beats then find an awesome beat from www.DarkSideBeats.com

Also I posted a thread giving all the rappers on here 10 free beats with no vocal tags to use.
I am not posting the link on this reply because the other post was moved to a different thread for some reason.
If you look under the Collaborations and Opportunities thread in the forum. You will find my post giving away 10 free beats
 
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