Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: I wrote a "small" song for a change, songwriting feedback?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Posts
    159
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 22 Times in 22 Posts

    I wrote a "small" song for a change, songwriting feedback?

    Sign in to disable this ad
    Hey guys, wrote something small instead of a punk/rock kind of thing and I think it came out alright. Not so much interested in production feedback but all the more in what you think of the songwriting (I'm not that great of a singer unfortunately).


  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Location
    Dublin, Ireland
    Posts
    17
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    If that's rain, it doesn't really sound like rain it sounds more like noise. I'd recommend a better effect, if it's not meant to be rain I apologize.
    In terms of actual songwriting it kind of is what it is, by that I mean it works, I like the feel you've chosen it reminds me of like the opening for firefly or something,
    it would go down very well live I'd imagine.

    Lyrically I'd recommend not repeating "oh Emily" at the end of those lines every time, perhaps just once or twice, strategically placed and instead
    just add other words which link to the previous sentence. Though this is more a personal preference.

    I'd recommend bringing in at least one other musical element when the verse eventually comes in again, it's begging for it, that can be whatever you like
    but I can almost hear like a harmonica or a similar sounding synth fitting perfectly.

    Keep going!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Posts
    159
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 22 Times in 22 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by _BOX_ View Post
    If that's rain, it doesn't really sound like rain it sounds more like noise. I'd recommend a better effect, if it's not meant to be rain I apologize.
    In terms of actual songwriting it kind of is what it is, by that I mean it works, I like the feel you've chosen it reminds me of like the opening for firefly or something,
    it would go down very well live I'd imagine.

    Lyrically I'd recommend not repeating "oh Emily" at the end of those lines every time, perhaps just once or twice, strategically placed and instead
    just add other words which link to the previous sentence. Though this is more a personal preference.

    I'd recommend bringing in at least one other musical element when the verse eventually comes in again, it's begging for it, that can be whatever you like
    but I can almost hear like a harmonica or a similar sounding synth fitting perfectly.

    Keep going!
    Thanks for the feedback and words of encouragement

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Posts
    159
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 22 Times in 22 Posts
    Oh and with regards to the noise, it's supposed to be a vinyl emulation but I've mixed it in a tad too loud I reckon. I wanted to make it sound older and rustier.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Posts
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
    I really love the Nirvana cover, nice job!

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Lucas Whitaker For This Useful Post:


  7. #6
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Posts
    159
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 22 Times in 22 Posts
    Glad you like it! I really meant it when I recorded at the time because I was going through a really rough period. Would be massive if you could give it a like on soundcloud and a follow because it really helps us out in getting our music heard by more people.

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Seattle WA
    Posts
    195
    Thanks
    36
    Thanked 28 Times in 28 Posts
    Sounds like Violent Femmes. I like it. I think the white noise/vinyl sound/ rain sound could be toned down just a tad bit. The lyrics seem fairly clever with how you rhyme. i enjoyed it. I also enjoyed your other songs so I think I'll follow you.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to dubwell For This Useful Post:


  10. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Location
    Murica
    Posts
    67
    Thanks
    17
    Thanked 20 Times in 20 Posts
    The chordal structure and overall flow of the song are pretty solid. I kind of like the vinyl/rain effect as well, its ambiguous and unique, but I would turn it down in the mix overall. Also I would make the "oh Emily" a bit more pronounced, it sounds "ohmmemmy". Super cool stuff here though!

  11. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Posts
    15
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    I think it works. Doesn't really sound like punk to me, it's actually a little folky, not that it matters. To me the "rain" noise doesn't add anything and it really started to grate. If anything, I'd use it up front and then fade it out pretty early on, maybe fade it back in at the end, but the song is strong enough without it.

    Cheers.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •