Real emotional Track by herb... check me out ill return the feed.

H

herb

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Thanks everyone for viewing my thread... i would love some feedback on my first attempt at a real track about my life. Its over a kanye west style beat. This is all real stuff that happened to me, so its all real. Peep it. Keep in mind your reviewing the rap, not the beat.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/7/herb_music.htm

Its called Never die. Check it out please and drop your link.

if you like the track please click hot id like to get in the charts so some new people get to hear my stuff.
 
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For starters the beat is on point... i'm feeling it a lot

Lyrically - deep thoughts , real feeling.. you paint the picture well.. took me on the journey..definately held it down..

Flow - It was alright on the first verse, got better as the song went on..

Overall- I think you got potential, track is hot... I would just keep trying to perfect that flow !!!!

Stay up!!!
 
Ya man, the lyrics were great from my point of view, but i totally agree i need to work on the flow. Problem is I wrote it, recorded it, and mixed it in less than a day, so it was kinda rushed to get it done.

And ya, I was struggling for flow on a few lines of this but had to take the best take i got in the time i had.

Thanks alot for the feed, keep it coming please, gave feed for like 10 tracks so im expecting it to come pouring in hah.
 
Being your self man. Some off your lyrics relate to what I be saying. Keep doing retakes of your verses.

The beat is cool. Keep going mang!
 
yo thnx fa checkin me out..

yo lyrics are nice..yea work on your flow,,the mixing and mastering part is bad right now and when its fixed its gone do alot of difference for your track..

*voting hot* ;)

btw i turned down that tone that was killin u like 25%..i had reaaly cheap phones when i was making that beat..pz
 
The lyrics have a special depth. That's cool! I like your story telling.It is interresting.So your lyrics are quite good but you should keep trying to perfect ya flow.
By the way the Beat is really fittin to your lyrics. Good Work homie!
 
Beat is dope,

and the lyrics is straight,

i agree with everyone, just owrk on the flow just a little bit, but then you're straight.

thanks for the feed.
 
Thanks a ton guys. I think the reason everyone is finally liking my stuff is cus its real. And you can probably tell that it is lol. Im gonna keep working on some other stuff like this.

Im thinking of doing a really long ballad called my life, similar to something like this.

So keep lookin out guys, ill be back soon looking for more feed. Thanks.
 
1st off beat sounds nice...
---
now on to you..
flow is pretty good..
but it could be a lil better..
what i think you could improve on is ya delivery.. because it sounds like your jus readin it? nah mean?
but lyrics.. and everything else was koo...
keep doin you dawg...
pz...
 
Alright... that has been my problem for a long time, people kept saying it sounds like i am reading it. Do all you other guys think that as well? No one else said that so i thought i go over it a bit.

Another thing i think is that im only using a dynamic mic, and a decent preamp so its not really capturing alot of the emotion... its pretty quiet, i have to pump the gain up alot... could this be part of the reason?
 
herb said:
Thanks everyone for viewing my thread... i would love some feedback on my first attempt at a real track about my life. Its over a kanye west style beat. This is all real stuff that happened to me, so its all real. Peep it. Keep in mind your reviewing the rap, not the beat.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/7/herb_music.htm

Its called Never die. Check it out please and drop your link.

if you like the track please click hot id like to get in the charts so some new people get to hear my stuff.
Click to expand...
never die is strait. the beat is hot. The lyrics were aite. your style was just simple to me. You got a good voice for it. I can feel where ur comin from, its just it wasn't explained that strongly. Thats just my opinion tho. Keep at it.
1
 
Thanx for the feedback!

I like "never die"
The beat is nice and mellow supports the lyrics well...
the lyrics are deep,like it
you should work on your voice,though
the flow is good,perfect it.
overall a good track,definitely worth checking out!!
keep up the good work!
peace
 
Well I like the beat a lot, really nice feel. As for the lyrics, the way they tell a story, it's good. To me the only problem is not the flow but the way you deliver it.

There is obviously a lot of feeling in the lyrics but your delivery sounds a bit straight, not like you are reading it exactly but just too flat. Maybe just try and let a bit more emotion show in your voice you know, like spit some stuff out hard or whatever.. Like the bit in the middle when you are actually speaking not rapping, that sounds like you mean it. Try and get that coming through in the rapping a bit more.

Other than that it's a well nice track.
 
yo..ummm that beat is hott i really dig the snare ughhh.. the vocals came in too loud.. or they just not mixed in quite right ..i donno.. the raps... r ite... sounds like sum messups in there .? just seems like beginner flow...like when i dint have a mic and i could only record one take usin a video cam..u have no layers on the vocals...that would make it way doper..
but that beat is hott.. just keep practicin mixin the vox in.. :)
 
Ya well basically the problem is I recorded it all in like 15 or 20 minutes, and didnt have time to double anything up with the vox, or mix well, cus i was doing it at my friends house, in his closet.

And I cant record at home with my mic and pre, because I have no where quiet enough, it just comes out sounding horrible. SO until I move to the dorms at ASU, or find a nice quiet place I can record, I gotta wait.
 
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