Hi everyone, thank you for taking the time to read this, if you do so!

I started writing electronic music somewhere around a decade ago, having started to find a real interest in the genre. Having regularly gone clubbing, and having friends with the same interest, etc... Was also around the time in my life when I figured that 6 or so years devoting myself to psychobilly music, and having worked so hard that getting a lousy side-stage gig on Warped Tour felt like a failure (not to mention an empty wallet), meant it was time for a change.

I was really screwed up from a lot of drastic changes happening in my life at that time, and was at square one at when I should have at least been at the third or fourth. I had tried going back to college, and when I wasn’t abusing drugs (maybe when, actually), or when I wasn’t in rehab or in a lull between dropping out, working, not working, and so on... I was learning how to, and making, what today id broadly call EDM.

I started to recover, and fought my illness, but was getting better and better at songwriting and honing in on my skills as (songwriter, artist, producer, dj, etc....) any if these that seemed fitting. I never got a job for years, moved around Los Angeles trying to fix my problems or start a career, unsuccessfully, but spent LOTS of time writing songs. After a while I starting receiving some great feedback... thousands of plays online, being listed as top 100 by the same or similar sites, and tried to become an independent artist. The entire time I failed to remember that partying wasn’t the best field for a recovering addict, and I never got any offers to do parties, and probably got too old to be taken seriously.

Now, halfway through 2020, I’ve realized I’ve spent SO much time on this project, (which I’ve called “Vaelency”), that it’s a fucking shame not to follow through with my work. I can’t seem to find anyone who cares enough to help out, even being 20 minutes from Hollywood, and I lack any resources to what seems necessary to get noticed by someone in the industry. (Aside from this odd relation I seem to have with a Skrillex album, who I can’t reach to confirm my suspicion in any way). My obligations outweigh my ability to slowly climb the EDM “ladder,” each year I get older I feel like more of a failure, and no one can help me to either give up, or join my ambitions to see if they’re worthwhile.

What the fuck am I supposed to do? I have a huge list of industry contacts to call, and what seems like a career worth pursuing if I had the money, resources, and people to get this thing off the ground.

Someone please pay me so the harsh criticism I await can be dulled a bit, and please help me understand why a career in music is just too much to ask for? Do professionals simply just seek out child prodigies and popular people? Is 31 too old? How do artists with music that seems only a little better than mine make millions when I can’t even gauge how much I would ask for if I were even in the industry? I’m ambitious, shouldn’t that get recognized?

Thanks for reading and pray for me.