BoardingHouseReach
Member
My second go at writing a song with complete lyrics. Appreciate any feedback and will gladly return feedback on your tracks.
Pop song vocal & piano demo
- Thread starter BoardingHouseReach
- Start date
My second go at writing a song with complete lyrics. Appreciate any feedback and will gladly return feedback on your tracks.
I would say it is a solid idea so far. Even me as a total amateur I can definetly see a clear song structure there and I think the melody nicely combines with the vocals.
For the most part I also think that the lyrics do fit the mood of the song. When the music becomes more intense I think you could be a little bit less gentle and maybe display a tiny little bit more anger.
I am trying to look at it from my own perspective and generally when I put myself in a situation where I already knew (or had the feeling) that it can not possibly turn out well, I am usually more angry at myself than just being sad.
In the end I would probably cut the last "trust your feelings" and end the lyrics with "trust your feelings always", because I feel like this has a bigger impact as final statement.
All together I still think it´s quite nice though.
PS: This is my first time trying to give some feedback. I hope it helps
For the most part I also think that the lyrics do fit the mood of the song. When the music becomes more intense I think you could be a little bit less gentle and maybe display a tiny little bit more anger.
I am trying to look at it from my own perspective and generally when I put myself in a situation where I already knew (or had the feeling) that it can not possibly turn out well, I am usually more angry at myself than just being sad.
In the end I would probably cut the last "trust your feelings" and end the lyrics with "trust your feelings always", because I feel like this has a bigger impact as final statement.
All together I still think it´s quite nice though.
PS: This is my first time trying to give some feedback. I hope it helps
BoardingHouseReach
Member
Really good feedback, I really like your suggestion about the final line especially, I think that could be more impactful. And what you said about emoting is something I will keep in mind for future songs. Thank you for taking the time to listen, I really appreciate it.I would say it is a solid idea so far. Even me as a total amateur I can definetly see a clear song structure there and I think the melody nicely combines with the vocals.
For the most part I also think that the lyrics do fit the mood of the song. When the music becomes more intense I think you could be a little bit less gentle and maybe display a tiny little bit more anger.
I am trying to look at it from my own perspective and generally when I put myself in a situation where I already knew (or had the feeling) that it can not possibly turn out well, I am usually more angry at myself than just being sad.
In the end I would probably cut the last "trust your feelings" and end the lyrics with "trust your feelings always", because I feel like this has a bigger impact as final statement.
All together I still think it´s quite nice though.
PS: This is my first time trying to give some feedback. I hope it helps