"After This Song" New Pop/RnB FEEDBACK RETURNED!

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yesiampretty

Guest
hey guys I made this new song today, What do you think of the lyrics and beat?

So the songs basically about a guy who really loves this girl but he is on the verge on giving up on her because it hurts too much. So he writes this song and decides to perform it in front of a audience but more especially to the girl he loves. So while he performs the song he is indirectly telling her that he's gonnna forget about her after this song. I chose indirectly telling her because I know everyone does it especially through body language and even through facebook status's lol.

Anyways lyrics are pretty much set in stone, And sorry YEAH i used autotune but I personally can't sing so for now, until I find a real singer, this is how its gonna be.


ALL FEEDBACK RETURNED!


link to the song...
http://www.zshare.net/audio/64122547ed07f319/



"After This Song"

VERSE 1
Let it be known, this songs for you.
Love is all I've shown, time for my debut.
I see you from this stage, time to do what's right.
These notes on this page, play for you tonight.

PRE-CHORUS
Let me Go Go Go
Let me Leave leave leave
Cause I know know know
I can't be be be
Your not mine mine mine
Now it's my time time
Let me go go go
I'll let go go go

CHORUS
So in this song,
I leave you here.
Cause I know you can't be the one my dear.
We can't be friends,
patience's running thin
I'm bout to be gone,
I'll leave you here...
...after this song..
Na na na na na...
...after this song...
Na na na na na.


VERSE 2
This is your chance, if you've changed your mind
theres still a part, that still wants you mine
no more then this song, is all its gonna be.
What else I can do for you to see.

OUTRO
I hope this song let's you know
I'll fall out of love after this curtain close (x4)


Mik Beats
http://www.mikbeats.com
 
Wow, this song is great.

Great beat, works great with the song.
Great production (as far as the recording goes)
Great lyrics, great structure, and the vocals were outstanding.

I'd love to rap a verse on this..

great work man!
 
man that's really cool what u did there, very melodic, nice synth's, lyrics are great.... u really know what u doing... i'd just put some percussion in it, at least a hihat every 1/8..... but really good job... keep it up...
 
That song is nice! Really the autotune is the only part I dont like... Get a singer on that and that's better than a lot of the **** on the radio, lol
 
thanks for the feedback guys! and haha yeah I'm pitching to a couple connects I have, so hopefully one of them are up for grabs ^_^
 
Well produced. It has nice synths. Beats are very good. But auto-tune isn't that good. Please do not use that in your future songs. That's all I can say. Keep on. :)
 
hahah this is dope man. sounds like some mainstream ****. the delay u got on the vocals is a little overwhelming at soem parts. ive used a lot of sounds uve used in this song, like the the dj scratches and the applaud at the beginning. haha just thought i would say that.

everything about this song is on point to me. i really like the drums. good job man ,keep grinding
 
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Great Track buddy, keep it up !!
Since your production and voice is good, try making something fun and uplifting like for the clubs, more people will get involved with that
 
This is not exactly the type of music I like, but obviously you are very talented. The beat is nice and smooth and your voice isn't bad at all with the autotune so I wonder what it would be like without it. I'm not a big fan of autotune but not the biggest hater either. I wouldn't have been one bit surprised if I had seen this on MTV or heard it from the radio for example, it seems very professional, polished and main stream. The only real criticism is liike someone already said, I think the vocal delay is a bit too much at some point.

Hit me back at: futureproducers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=305067
 
Whatsup...im not really feeling this joint...the lyrics are great and the top line is cool but the beat im not feeling it sounds a little TOO technoish...its especially the drums that im not really feeling...maybe with a more up-tempo beat it would sound alot better I can hear it right now...sort of a dance version....keep grinding
 
thx for da feedbak

this sh!t right here is nice mayne...i could def see this gettin placed somewhere (on tv or a major artist) good luck & keep grindin!!
 
Dude!

LOVIN the track man...

If this track was a single, i'd totally download a torrent of it! Lol, jokes, i'd buy it on iTunes.
 
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