First Video - Jon Swaby - I'm Tired Directed by Gamesix

Looks great, but nothing seems to happen.
Some kind of story would be great in there.

Not a big fan of mumble-rap, but the look was clean for the few shots you set up.
I'd lose the cartoon logo at the end. Seems to break the tone...from something a little serious and artsy to going comical.
 
Looks great, but nothing seems to happen.
Some kind of story would be great in there.

Not a big fan of mumble-rap, but the look was clean for the few shots you set up.
I'd lose the cartoon logo at the end. Seems to break the tone...from something a little serious and artsy to going comical.

Yes,that's right..
 
Looks great, but nothing seems to happen.
Some kind of story would be great in there.

Not a big fan of mumble-rap, but the look was clean for the few shots you set up.
I'd lose the cartoon logo at the end. Seems to break the tone...from something a little serious and artsy to going comical.

I have to agree with what Griffin said here. It needed a story and/or shots of you performing the lyrics. The shots were dope and the quality is super clean. You just needed to show more character and personality of who you are as an artist. If I pay to see you in a concert I want to have an idea of how you'll perform and if I'm going to be entertained. That would have made this video A1.
 
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