Why am I so hesitant? Is it worth trying again?

Hey Nalah!

First of all, congrats on your success. I think with that contest win, you're already way ahead of the majority of producers and artists out there :) So that's a plus!

Now, it feels to me that you have surrendered to an emotion that really a lot of producers/musicians/artists (and people in other areas too) face, which is losing belief in themselves and their ability. I just finished a production project with an artist who wanted to cram all his good ideas into his 4 song EP, and he kept revisiting every decision to a very unhealthy extent. When I asked him why he did that, he replied "it feels like I'm not sure if I can deliver more music on that level."

Let me try to give you some frame of mind that might help:

1. Skills NEVER get worse by exercising them.

In fact, I like to remind myself of this quote frequently when I have tough times:

You always suck compared to your future self.

That being said, I know it's an irrational thought bringing up all kinds of emotions. The only way to break through that way of thinking is by PROVING yourself wrong. And if you can make a competition against yourself out of the process, you should find the motivation. Something like "ok, I'm gonna show you. I'll create 4 more songs now, and all of them are gonna smash my contest winner from back in the day." ...and then you just do it and DON'T STOP until you're there :)

2. The chance of becoming a successful producer/DJ who plays arenas...

This has NEVER been a giant chance. It's always incredibly hard. Otherwise millions would do it. BUT there is one thought that drives me, and it might help you too:

There will be a time in your life when you look back and revisit your decisions. And from countless tales, it's obvious that we don't really regret failing at something. What we will regret most is NOT HAVING TRIED SOMETHING THAT WE MIGHT HAVE SUCCEEDED IN...just because of fear of not reaching the goal.

That to me is the most horrific idea. And that's why personally I see no alternative to just try and do it. And if there's no other option than making it work without the possibility to quit, then you might as well give it all you got.

So, to summarize:

1. You HAVE TO get going again, despite all inner doubts. And prove to yourself what you're capable of! That's the hard part that every successful person in this industry has to go through. Nobody is free from self-doubt.

2. If it's important to you, don't let your future self down and go for it! The attempt is the win. No matter where you land, you'll land somewhere, and that's going to be much closer to your desired goal than not trying at all and staying where you are.

3. If your priorities have shifted in the meantime (which is TOTALLY possible and happens all the time), then it's also ok to let go of that dream and not judge yourself for it. Not everybody has to keep holding on to a dream. Priorities change. If that's the case for you, then be ok with it :) If it's not the case and only doubt holds you back, then revisit #1 & 2!

Hope that was helpful!
Dom
 
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Hi Domrivinius!


Thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply!

I really needed this, to see things from another perspective!

Now im more motivated than ever to pursue my dreams, i hope to hear from you in the future!

Best Regards
Nalah
 
Wow, very nice written Dom.

I just can Support that.
Sometimes it's way more important to do things and finish it (maybe) wrong than
to do nothing. The learning process should have more priority than the self-doubt (which everyone has in some extent).
 
Analyze yourself for a while.

Is this your house? If so keep going. You can feel if a hobby's for you after a few months. Maybe a year.
What is your calling?
 
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