i know exactly where you are coming from. i startedon this same problem a few years ago.
i looked into sound sythesis ( acctually creating your own kick, snare, high hats etc.. from sound waves ), i watched all kinds of tutorials and spent alot of time on it.
my advice. Google Vengence sound pack. get that. mainly for electronic music, but they are seriously the standard right now. all of the major dubstep producers are using that sound pack.
and then make sure you layer and EQ accordingly. i would google EQing and mixing and compression. youll see a huge difference.
good luck hope that helps.
for me personally as far as eqing goes, it really depends on the song, youll hear it a milion times, there no certain way to do it. but i have been boosting kicks at around 100hz, and my snares at about 200Hz. mind you ive been doing dubstepy stuff so.
and be carefull with reverb on lower end stuff. sounds like garbage.
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start with good quality drum samples. layering and eq is all good but the idea is to start with good sounds so you don't need to layer them and eq them.
you will need to eq everything almost. or use low and high pass filters, if you want that professional sound. to make every sound fit in the mix youll be absolutely lucky if you dont have to eq something.