hey entitee,
well you can assign specific MIDI controller values to individual tracks in Cakewalk. For instance, you sequence a strings track under channel 1. Going into the piano roll, you can assign a controller value such as 91 - Reverb, 11 - Volume, 93 - Chorus....etc. You can then draw out the values to affect the values in that track inthe roll window below the piano roll values. Hope that's not too confusing.
On a different note, I really like soundfonts for their concept and ease of use, but like you, I often find some of the instruments to be flat and what I like to call "gameboy-esque" for their similarities with nintendo's 4-channel 8-bit cheese.
SBLive! is a good card and a great value. But I would recommend trying out some different sound synths other than soundfonts. I have a 50 meg soundfont and I abandoned it for Reason's softsynths, and my kurzweil's sampling system - it's a world of difference! I think you'll enjoy Reason...