!st verse need some feedback.

[SJ1988]

The Suns out, Its bright now,
But infront of me is a storm of dark clouds,
I look at you, you look at me,
It crazy how we failed to see the truth.

Two broken hearts, one broken home,
Two souls left to wonder this world alone,
We can make it right, doesnt change a thing,
And girl I want you to know that.

[metrodollar]

dosent' sound bad at all brah. Is this a rappers vocals or a singer?

[Eli_Effel405]

sounds good but is this for a song?

[SJ1988]

Singers Vocals thanks guys appreciate it.

[caliboi]

this is actually good

[eXtacy]

good. seems a bit choppy but that may just be the way i was reading it

[karmad]

nice writing..it can be song also...no??

[SJ1988]

Thanks for the feedback guys, I got a few ideas for instrumentals for it but I never get chance to work on them. Anyone know who can produce a track for free or as little cost as possible? Would love to get in to my writing full time.

[JaggySly]

Thats looks like it would sound dope!

[Programmedtochill]

Sounds like a really cool chorus for an emotional beat, but thats just my opinion