Quick verse... Leave feedback

[AK-47]

Every thought occurs, words are slurred
I can clearly see home, as I pass by third
A fugitive on the lose, goin door to door
Now I lay my head where they keep the poor
Who could've predicted, such a sadistic
Eyes glow off the light, just like riddick
A lonely bastard, his own kills captured
Arrow through the heart, skulls fractured
Demon through the night, schemin' to fight
Hungry to eat, just like Barry White
So giggle at that, try n' mock me
You can go for 2nd, like Ryan Lochte
Rhythm and flow, that's what's got me
I'm off the top, your rhymes so sloppy
Either way you put it, I'm going for gold
Judo style, in a stranglehold
Conquer adversity through my courage
Your back of line, asking for more porridge

[reddmann]

I like it, but maybe try more rhymes within each line. I think that would fit this type of flow.

[AK-47]

Thanks for the feeback my man. Could you please elaborate on that a bit?

[Star Tanner]

nice work!!!!!!



Sound Click Page: SoundClick artist: Star Tanner Productions - I am a beat maker/ producer. I specialize in making rap, hip hop, pop, techno, and r&b instrumentals

Official Website: Beats For Sale | Buy Beats Online | Rap Beats | Hip Hop Beats

Email: startannerproductions.com