My first POST

[Cool G Thermopolis]

Bout to posta new discussion while im russian stonavich
conehead a ***** impaler maker vlad the inhaler asthmatica
automatic gettin back at chaz

used to be political but now im in shape spiritually to invent a new
break on through to the other side of the doors
remember those on slaveships native americans and moors

keep it simple keep it sweet till mother****ers get swept up off of there feet.
post it noted thats all quoted dont delete
****ty days gritty ways allover this street

better believe it its the non greivous attitude
stop wars and battle through tribulations non violent simulations
take vitamins eat your spaghetti kids get ready

[mc.majik]

Is this for rnb, a poem or hiphop? Im confused by the way your lines dont rhyme eg:

'......russian stonavich'
'...vlad the inhaler asthmatica'

and various other lines that seem completely out of place.

If its a poem or a verse to be sung then its completely different because rhyming is not half as important as melody there

btw I hate no idea wtf that verse is about ive read it 4 times now and given up

[_SG_]

I agree with majik, the structure is very off for a rap verse (if that is what this is)

And also, I have no idea of what this is about. It seems like words just thrown together with no real substance behind it.

[Planetary]

Thermopolis ha..

You sound like a f***ing out of note string
With your head out of place
Got your name from a hot spring
I am a political rap animal
so try and test me
You’ll get no where with that Russian biography
Don’t act like you know spiritual
i’ll crack your head open with a spoon even if you were invincible
im like the lord of the mic and you’re a f***ing piece of s***
what the f*** is stonavich b**** you sound like a snitch
your out of shape homie like the Washington hexagon
I’ll exterminate you from Egypt to the Pentagon


you really did get your name from a hot spring didnt you..

[_SG_]

See man, whats with that? Why even write that verse, instead you should be focusing on giving good advice. Wow, we need quality, not quantity.

[Planetary]

lol come on man i'm just having some fun

[_SG_]

I know man, but it just seems like wasted time, when you could of been helping this guy improve his craft. Afterall, this is what this section is for is it not? Alot of people have been posting here recently trying to showcase their skills and trying to 1up other people and it just seems like they're not trying to focus on the thing that's one of the most important, practice.

Anyway, it's not that serious. I was just trying to make a point.

[Planetary]

Alright man, you made your point. i'll be more helpful next time, i was just being a little practical, you know.

cool g you need to work more on your syllables and the way you use your vocabulary, dont just try and jump in for tryna rhyme everything with everything. be more positive with what you say and practice all the way

[Cool G Thermopolis]

I understand, i'll come correct with a written well thought out verse from here on out. With audio if i can. Otherwise lol @ "thermopolis" being a town in wyoming and **** hahaha. i just had that **** in my head for a while and thought it sounded kinda dope



edit: profanity (yes there was more)

[Rhyme Verser]

to you should join the tournement