Looking for someone who can help with lyric writing

J

jremi

New member
Hey there!

I'm a rapper who needs help with writing lyrics, I'm trying to get a small development team together, I already have a producer, but am looking for a manager and a writer...

If you can help, reply here, PM me, or add my on skype: jremi00(Radeyant)

Radeyant is my rap name, I forgot to set it as my username*Facepalm*
 
Would you like to provide 8 bars/lines? I'll do the same. We'll exchange advice and give each other feedback. Here's mine:

It's a matter of life or death, I'm righteous, yet/
I still adhere to medication with suicidal side effects/
The super ego - that's the self-critic inside your head/
I am my own worst enemy, cuz everything outside these lens/
Does not exist, so where do we go from here?/
I say gather your insecurities and battle all your fears/
I mean it's either that or live mentally paralyzed/
By these demons in disguise that exist inside your mind/
 
5*general said:
Would you like to provide 8 bars/lines? I'll do the same. We'll exchange advice and give each other feedback. Here's mine:

It's a matter of life or death, I'm righteous, yet/
I still adhere to medication with suicidal side effects/
The super ego - that's the self-critic inside your head/
I am my own worst enemy, cuz everything outside these lens/
Does not exist, so where do we go from here?/
I say gather your insecurities and battle all your fears/
I mean it's either that or live mentally paralyzed/
By these demons in disguise that exist inside your mind/
Click to expand...

Your lyrics are good, and flow good, But lacks rhyme and explanation, I wouldn't know what exactly your rapping about as your rapping about things all over the place..



Lack of support and inspiration/
Shit hurts like an incision/
I wanna follow my vision/
Takin' after Kendrick/
People thinkin' I'm Eccentric/
Thinkin' I'm insane/
Comparing me to Lil Wayne/
Never talk about him again/
You'll never understand the pain/
Close the blinds/
Keep out the heat(Hate)/
**** everyone who wanna hate/
 
Last edited:
Thanks for your feedback. I can see what you're saying by lacking explanation. How should I go about making my message more clear? As far as my feedback for you...do you place a bar line after end of bar or every breath? Looks like 6 bars to me. Sometimes I separate my breaths with commas and place a slash at the end of the bar.
 
5*general said:
Thanks for your feedback. I can see what you're saying by lacking explanation. How should I go about making my message more clear? As far as my feedback for you...do you place a bar line after end of bar or every breath? Looks like 6 bars to me. Sometimes I separate my breaths with commas and place a slash at the end of the bar.
Click to expand...

Well, my lyrics that I wrote are usually for a very fast paced beat, the / would mean the end of that line, and breaths would be taken every 3/4 line...

As for getting your message clear, I'm not really sure how to explain it :/
 
Last edited:
ohh ok. Keep at it. I've been told that the more you are open to learn the further you'll go in your rap career.
 
5*general said:
Thanks for your feedback. I can see what you're saying by lacking explanation. How should I go about making my message more clear? As far as my feedback for you...do you place a bar line after end of bar or every breath? Looks like 6 bars to me. Sometimes I separate my breaths with commas and place a slash at the end of the bar.
Click to expand...

Songwriting Q&A with Robin Frederick, Songwriting expert Robin Frederick answers questions from viewers, giving out tips and techniques for writing songs f...

Take a look at this bro... Hope this helps! Good stuff starts at around 3 mins.
 
Are you looking for a ghost writer or someone to rewrite lyrics you already have (editor)?
 
Last edited:
24FITMAN said:
Are you looking for a ghost writer or someone to rewrite lyrics you already have (editor)?
Click to expand...

Kind of both? I don't want to sound like I'll be doing nothing xDD Obviously I will want to help a little, but I just htink that I need help for a while when it comes to writing lyrics..
 
jremi said:
Kind of both? I don't want to sound like I'll be doing nothing xDD Obviously I will want to help a little, but I just htink that I need help for a while when it comes to writing lyrics..
Click to expand...
K i understand. Do you have any audio so I can hear your flow / sound?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top