looking for constructive criticism

[kokonomai]

youtube /watch?v=JZw7xM7Lmzo

Hey, first hiphop track recorded. We all are new to this and are looking for some constructive criticism. Mixing tips would be good, but mainly with our lyrics.

[Marcus Polk]

whoah. lighten up a bit. too depressing for me. maybe someone else will like it, who knows.

[Meliss2307]

Not bad for a first time.. In terms of music, I think u can layer it up a bit with a few synth chords or something to give it a bit more musicality? It felt a bit monotonous at times.. Even switching up the background notes u were already playing to a different chord might also help bring out the rapping a bit more? Hope this helps

[Dj Dr. Sholes]

whoah. lighten up a bit. too depressing for me. maybe someone else will like it, who knows.

A lot of people can't write depressing stuff and get it to come out well, so that's a good point for him, just so long as not all of his songs are depressing.

The song itself sounds okay, just try stacking more vocal tracks to it to give it more depth. Try doing a few just saying it normally just with different pitches and maybe one that you're whispering in.

[kokonomai]

thanks for the replies, n yeah its pretty dark haha. tonight going to try layering them up a bit.

[tommywadd]

onwards and upwards