A lil song i wrote...

J

JewieThomsen

New member
Hey Folks, heres a song i wrote - hope you like it.

Anti pious thugs,
Menace against society,
Lowest versus highest,
God living in piety,
His judging’s biased
Thugs living in anxiety
Searching for an answer,
Forced to do it quietly
Cursed worse than cancer,
Welcome to the last dance off
Welcome to the black parade
Where’s the answer
God’s a double-edged blade,
Forgives the kills by a lancer
Yet our ticket is prepaid,
Were sent to hell’s financer

So many people let false promises entice,
So many people believe in Christ,
So many people let the church mind heist,
Too many people see their death as a tryst,

So many people let false promises entice,
So many people believe in Christ,
So many people let the church mind heist,
Too many people see their death as a tryst,


Time took its toll
Cancer turned to a cyst
Hades scored the goal
God did the assist
His plans unroll
Souls sail to the mist
A maniac let on parole
Blessed by a Baptist
Lost all control
Actions of a masochist
Victims of a sadist
Cut the vein off the wrist,
Just another on the list,
No longer to exist
Smashed by the palm of gods fist


So many people let false promises entice,
So many people believe in Christ,
So many people let the church mind heist,
Too many people see their death as a tryst,

So many people let false promises entice,
So many people believe in Christ,
So many people let the church mind heist,
Too many people see their death as a tryst,

Pastors sent here to preach
But they sound like teachers sent here to teach,
Self-control, free will, is what they leech,
Like vampires, they’re speech is a screech,
Praying for everyone and each,
But I wonder, is it all prayers that reach?


So many people let false promises entice,
So many people believe in Christ,
So many people let the church mind heist,
Too many people see their death as a tryst,

Thanks in advance.
 
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Really deep, good choice of words, and definitely great lyrics. It honestly reminds me of some Immortal Technique's stuff if you will.

Really good job man.
 
Yeah, I definitely feel some Immortal Technique vibes emanating from this. That first verse is hot though, nice work.
 
wow, thanks, I'm blown away. To be compared with immortal technique is huge. Thanks alot - everyone else please keep throwing out opinions?:)

---------- Post added 08-16-2011 at 04:55 PM ---------- Previous post was 08-15-2011 at 12:36 PM ----------

---------- Post added at 04:56 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:55 PM ----------

No one else got anything to add?
 
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im diggin the shit outa this yo. some deep shit you on in this. i gotta song called Pouring Pain that imma post some time, hope you read and give some feed back.....
 
Glad to hear you all like it, it really means ALOT to me. Anyways, Sure - I'm rapping about god and religion in this song - but I'm not exactly religious. Please - keep throwing out your opinions :) And Dj Majishun - just pm me when you post it - ill defo check it out :)
 
Thanks all :) Im afraid i can't rap, so recording this would be very hard ! - in my mind, its a dark beat, where jay-z raps first verse and kanye last, and then some dark compressed but very clear choir in the chorus.

Please keep throwing out your opinions - they are very important to me !
 
lemme say this shit is doppeee i really enjoy the real world application instead of money and cars good stuff man
 
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