Just need some feebback for my lyrics... (There made in the style of a rap)

[2paclives]

I got a story 2 tell
So I'ma start at the beginin
My names Dan an I smoke weed for a livin
Hip-Hop driven lyrical magician
Girls have got my handsome face imbedded in there vision
Now listen I'm never lacking wisdom
My CRB's so clean that in the sun it ****in glistens
But please don't get it twisted
I'm just a lonely misfit
Smoke away the pain
Wish I never existed
I'm try'na make the best outta bad situation
Gotta thank God everyday for my creation
Wanna make it big but i gotta have the patience
Need to find a good girl an make her my relation
(FAST RAP!!! )These verses get worse after every burn of this herb that i have these words turn into blurs an its mad I slur this into a rap.
I got endo ash on my cap , got holes in my shirt on the lap, I'd move but I might collapse, Eyes rouge and about to relapse.
(Insert a couple of lines here)
I've been cool since the night I was born
Came out the womb with my high-tops on
Pimp slapped the nurse as i fired up the bong
11th of november the birth of a don

[Eli_Effel405]

pretty dope man pretty dope keep it up

[karmad]

hey nice lyric.. i like it..