Hey ADGE,
how are things? Just checked out your video. First of all: Great, great video and very nice production! Absolutely love it. And musically speaking, it works fine for me.
Lyrically speaking though (and that was your question), I have a couple of points to make:
It sounds a lot like you wrote the lyrics independently from the music. To me, it doesn't feel like music & lyrics are glueing yet. It seems there is too much text.
It would be stronger if you would've picked just 8 lines or so and used more repetition. Especially in music like this, which normally isn't very lyrical to start with,
you would play it safer by being simple, but groovy. Not saying it's unfixable, in fact I think there's some nice parts here and there, but to me it feels like you're
rushing too much from one idea to the next lyrically.
Listening to just the music it feels like this could've been a great song, just don't really like the lyrics/what the melody is doing with them. It appears to me as though
less text, more space would've made this a more relaxed listen and ultimately a more "chill" song. Now it seems out of breath and jumpy.
But again, the music is totally fine. Would've loved to work with you on those vocals until they're perfect.