Thoughts on these lyrics i wrote?

JeremyRudolph

New member
Hey i just wanted to get some feedback from you guys. I wrote this song to a beat and just wanted some peoples opinions before i go ahead and record it.


[Chorus]


Do you remember
When we were together
That love we had and shared
but now youve moved on
and found someone else to hold you tonight


[Verse 1]


Now the days go on and on
like a sad slow song
Im broken deep inside
back when id hold you,
i shouldve told you,
how it felt so right
But now your gone
just gotta keep moving on
just gotta keep pushing
through without you




[Chorus]




[Verse 2]


Back in october
My life changed forever
on that fateful night
When you told me
you couldnt hold me
anymore it hurt me deep inside
now ive awoken
with words unspoken
maybe i can set it right
correct the wrong
before you are gone
completely out of my life


[Bridge]


Give, give me one, one last chance
Give, give me one, one last chance


[Chorus] X2
 
Purge your heart and release all emotions and rhymes capable with this one.
 
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