In My Eyes. My first song.

The verse structures are written right, but lyrics are so.... "depressing". Sorry but I want to give you a honest opinion.

The lyrics and the tone of your voice really brought me down. Put more energy in your voice as if you want people to hear this.

The songwriting structure was done right and you delievered it, but a 6:00 song is too long to listen to. On your next track try compressing it down to 3:00.

Keep it up though, I want to see improvement.
 
Hey thanks man, My aim was actually to make it depressing haha... the beat just really depressed me and I was actually in a really depressing mood when I wrote it...
And an honest opinion is exactly what I wanted, everyone in my town compliments me cause they dont want to offend me so thats why Im looking for opinions on here.
Thanks man, much appreciated.
 
Yeah the beat is also a bit boring... i dont mean that in a negative way. But i guess it fits with the lyrics because the whole vibe is a bit unenegetic. But maybe thats how you wanted to come over. There is no really wrong or right when it comes to picking the beat, but a bit more energy has to be either in the beat or the rap itself. it helps
If you would have rapped the same lyrics, but with more emotion it would have come across a lot better. I think ^^

this song is in german and english but the energy is a lot more even though the rap is also more about how people are asleep
https://soundcloud.com/moa-wise/peep-the-game-flekzz-and-moawise
 
Thanks a million. I will be working on my emotion and I will try to improve next song.
Thanks for the opinion, I cant improve without critiscism ay...
I will check out that song also.
 
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