Anjovi_Liquid Swords

[Bigwon]

link:


mr.jovi taking hype
then leave you negroes hanging like
i have a dream so inspiring i'll die in my sleep
whitey's switching their vitamins like lights in the street
trying to compete in a pyramid scheme
got your seeds crying like weres it serene?
keep my dick wet it's alright homie
got that snatch i'll call like you know me
burn bridges till he freeze one christmas eve
self control like he need every ***** that he see
life is precious so call the quits and deuce deuce
wife *******, strangle some coloured kid on youtube
autistic kids wanting three ways with *******
demands or the babies going off the free way bridges
have more water for my shit then thirst quenching
live the word till the day of sir beheadings
as mother nature smothers her booty on my 3rd eye
try from going under as the dooky and turds fly
till we got skids in the street like winter tires
it all ain't shit to a tree so set a fire
flow sick as what's considered normal
picket at the spirit plane as bigot immortals
you go girl shove my dick in your pork hole
mind like a nigga's soul in a grand wizard's portal

 

[Olie]

link:


mr.jovi taking hype
then leave you negroes hanging like
i have a dream so inspiring i'll die in my sleep
whitey's switching their vitamins like lights in the street
trying to compete in a pyramid scheme
got your seeds crying like weres it serene?
keep my dick wet it's alright homie
got that snatch i'll call like you know me
burn bridges till he freeze one christmas eve
self control like he need every ***** that he see
life is precious so call the quits and deuce deuce
wife *******, strangle some coloured kid on youtube
autistic kids wanting three ways with *******
demands or the babies going off the free way bridges
have more water for my shit then thirst quenching
live the word till the day of sir beheadings
as mother nature smothers her booty on my 3rd eye
try from going under as the dooky and turds fly
till we got skids in the street like winter tires
it all ain't shit to a tree so set a fire
flow sick as what's considered normal
picket at the spirit plane as bigot immortals
you go girl shove my dick in your pork hole
mind like a nigga's soul in a grand wizard's portal

Never, never, never end a line in like, I've done it, other artists have done it, we know its lazy.

Some of your metaphors and similies don't make sense. I liked the one about trying to compete in a pryamid scheme.. Sort of.

The flow is all over the place and the rhyme scheme just isn't there.

Seems more like a freestyle/free written than actually thought out, don't be afraid to edit and neaten up your work and delete some lines.