The hook doesn't work on this at all. The verses are fine b/c it is rap, I would definitely bring them up in the mix a bit though. What I like to do on remixes that having singing hooks that don't go with the beat is chop up a part from the verses and make a new hook. You may want to try that.
As far as the beat, the bass line is almost non existent, so try making it a big fatter and bringing it up in the mix. Also, for the synths, maybe try some filters, rolling off the high end during the verses and bringing it back in for the hook. Just a thought, but could help break up the repetitiveness of the track.
Good start though, keep them coming.