Your 808 is banging and I like the piano. I'm personally not feeling the main melody though. Also, the overall volume is very low. Did you put a Limiter on your master track? Overall good job. Keep at it man!
I like the sound selection but I don't feel that the progression is working it doesn't seem to build and release tension it seems more or less random. That may be one the reasons melody doesn't work too well either. Production is good here, so it's more a matter of composition.