Not a huge fan of the beat, but it definitely works for this style you're going for.
Keep working on that delivery, you'll need more energy, more emphasis on certain syllables in your lines. The flow wasn't smooth, but not sure if that's what you were going for either. It's a process man, just keep recording, keep recording. It's a marathon, right? You just have to keep practicing. For your first song, this was cool man! Work on energy, and flow. It's up to you, the lyrics were good but came off as a little 'lyrical miracle' at times, rhyming for the sake of rhyming.
Not trying to bash, overall this was really good for your first song!!
Check me out if you get a chance!
https://www.futureproducers.com/for...ning-feedback-subs-100-a-536661/#post50052851